I am unhappy :-(

Why do articles like these:Money,Sex and Happiness ;What makes us happy?;Best Age to Marry make me drool? Why do they ocuppy my conscious? I see a heading and I desire to assimilate the knowledge. Is it useful knowledege? Am I just wasting my time? I don't know. I am torn between knowing the truth and wanting to discover what I don't know.

Insulting Behaviour

Part of being human is being able to speak and form coherent words from our thoughts. Animals work on impulse and instict, never stopping to think what they are doing or the reason for their behavior. It is so much easier to be able to insult someone without being able to say something intelligent. There is a lack of imagination and creativity when a person insults someone else. I have found myself repeatedly insulting someone very close to me and I don't know how to stop. The insulting words just pop out of my mouth without my knowing. After they have done their damage it is too late to recall them. I have heard of the wise saying, "Think before you speak," but how do I impliment that type of thinking in my life? I don't know that an insult is forming; I don't wish to inflict harm. My creative juices are impeded by insulting thoughts. I lack the creativity to make intelligent conversation. Should I be held accountible because G-d has not given me intelligence? I don't want to place the blame solely on G-d but I am at my wits end on how to make intelligent conversation with close family and friends. Any suggestions?

Feminism

It seems like everyone is talking about feminism and the role of women in Orthodoxy. I guess it is time to give my take on it. But before I begin, I want to link an article I read about the issue. Ten Curses.
Ok, now for my perspective. As a Yeshiva Bachur and a card carrying member of the Jewish people, I find it hard to understand why some females will have an entire issue with feeling that they are being discriminated by "Orthodoxy." If I were to draw a comparison I would say that I, as an Orthodox Jew, feel discriminated by the Reform or Conservative movement, or even the Chilonim in Israel. They snub their nose at anyone remotely more religious than them and say thankfully to themselves how fortunate they are that they are not Orthodox. I have constantly seen comments by women bloggers and journalists how "Superior" they are over men. I have yet failed to see a woman who does NOT deem herself to be superior over men. Women are egotistical. It is a known biological fact. However, I bear them no grudge. Let them believe they are special. It is an undeniable fact that some people are smarter, prettier, and/or richer than others. It is undeniable that I will never ever become a president and neither with any of my decendants. Do I feel descriminated by the facts of life? NO. Will I ever be a black person? NO. Do I feel bad that I can't apply for affirmative action? NO. And the reason being is because that is a fact of life. Can a person strive to be all they can be in whatever social caste they happen to be in? YES. And they should. However, to make a religion a butt of controversy and personal interpritation while distorting the facts is being unjust to being truthful. Woman have an important and unreplaceable spot in our religion. They are the pillar of a Jewish home. To change your special and select job in a team and to go off on your own agenda hurts it for the entire team. Become a feminist, see if I care, I pity the poor fools.

Jewish Unity

Recently the Jewish Press printed an article about Djerba, a city in Tunisia. The Hamodia printed an article about several towns in Russia. The gist and the common denominator between the two articles is how the Jewish communites are growing by leaps and bounds. What is amazing is how Jews are still prevalant all over the globe and they are GROWING. We aren't dead yet, no matter how much people try to decimate us. When reading such type of articles I get this feeling of pride and a feeling of connection to those people through our Jewish unity. I am proud that we are represented all over the world. The Torah is what binds us all and that I would feel at home with any Jew; no matter where they are in the world. Mi Ceamecha Yisrael. There is a Sofer in Los Angeles who learned his skill in Djerba, read about it here: Sofer.

Thanksgiving

I have much to be thankful for. My life has been blessed. I am lucky to be getting an education. I am lucky that I am able to learn in yeshiva. I am lucky my parents are alive. Thank you Hashem.

P.S. Let the sales begin!

Education

“Whatever be the detail with which you cram your students, the chance of their meeting in after-life exactly that detail is infinitesimal; and if they do meet it, they will probably have forgotten what you taught them about it. The really useful training yields a comprehension of a few general principles with a thorough grounding in the way they apply to a variety of concrete details. In subsequent practice the student will have forgotten your particular details; but will remember by an unconscious common sense how to apply principles to immediate circumstances.”

ALFRED NORTH WHITEHEAD
The Aims of Education and Other Essays

1-877-Rebbetzin

Many people that are Bal Teshuvah have a complaint when they come to the stage of shiuduchim that there is noone in the Frum community who realizes their plight. They believe they are looked down upon because of their background. They want to get married in the way their friends do in the normal shidduch system, but the "Frummers" don't want to deal with their nonreligious family. Oorah is an organization that understands this and has set up a hot line to deal specifically with these type of cases. They call it "The Rebbetzins." If you are interested in becoming a Rebbetzin, (and they invite men as well), or you are interested in meeting a Rebbetzin, you should call, 1-877-Rebbetzin.

Lights for the Blind

Chanuka is on the radar scope and it is the time when Torah is spread. There is an organization CSB that has made Torah acsessible to people with disabilites. Watch this video Video Conference given by a blind man, who although is blind is determined to continue to learn the Holy Torah. It should be an inspiration for all of us who have it easy.

Painful Encounters

Realationships are rewarding and painful. Let me explain. The pain I am refering to is guilt. If someone loves me and I do not care enough to keep my promises, and I continue to not do things that are asked of me as a friend, the little respect that I had earned with that friend is totally lost. Now you may ask why do I do it if I know that it is wrong; and the reason for that is because I can not or will not try to improve myself. My obsessions and passions overcome my reasoning and I am out of control and I do not know how to stop-or maybe I do but I am not willing to.

Did You Know?

Take the Bible Challenge. See how well you can do.
Bible Quiz

Time is Running Out

Based on this article I estimate the one year period to make a Shidduch for a Baltimore girl is running out. If you plan on making one, I suggest you do it soon to collect an easy $2,000.

The initial introduction of the couple (i.e., the first meeting of the couple) must not have been made prior to the starting date of this program, the first night of Chanukah, 5765 (December 7, 2004).

“Although Star-K is initially funding this program for a one year period, we hope that it will be successful and that we will have the funding to continue,” says Dr. Pollak. “We also hope that Star-K will serve as an inspiration for organizations or individuals in other “out-of-town” communities to launch similar programs.”

Guidelines

Mad at me, for what?

Why is it when a girl gets mad she decides to give the silent treatment? It is very rude. It wasn't meant to hurt her, so why did she take it that way?

Speak to your future self

Email delivery date: 2025 (yes, 2025).
Want to talk to yourself in the future? It¿s easy. Just make your own Email Time Capsule and Yahoo! Mail will work with our friends at Forbes.com to deliver it in 20 years.

What am I missing?

I was reading the JPost and came across an article describing the unsatisfaction Israelis are having in their sex life (Unsatisfied). An excerpt from the atricle:
"For those concerned about their degree of sexual experience, it may be useful to know that the average number of partners reported worldwide is nine. Here too, gender plays an important role: Men reported an average of 10.2 partners, while women reported a 6.9 average. Israelis are slightly above the average, with a reported average of 10.6 partners."
I started to think. I will God willing only get married once to one partner and have sex with only one person. What am I missing by not having the world average of having sex with another 9.6 partners? Should I feel dissapointed? Is it better I am intimate with only one person instead of being intimate with another 9.6? I think it is my Yetzer Harah that is barking.

Mute

In English class the Professor asked, "Why do teenage Orthodox girls rebel?" He explained that he sees many Orthodox girls in his class carry a grudge aginst Judaism. He asked if it is because we supress the outside culture too much and that causes them to seek outside influences and role models. What could the community do to keep them from experimenting and seeking ways that are contrary to the mores of the community? What if it were my daughter who was disobeying and testing the limits of Judaisim, what measures would I take?

I was stumped.

This is Humorous

By RANDOLPH E. SCHMID, AP Science Writer Tue Nov 8,11:11 AM ET
WASHINGTON - The difference between the sexes has long been a rich source of humor. Now it turns out, humor is one of the differences.
Women seem more likely than men to enjoy a good joke, mainly because they don't always expect it to be funny.
"The long trip to Mars or Venus is hardly necessary to see that men and women often perceive the world differently," a research team led by Dr. Allan L. Reiss of the Stanford University School of Medicine reports in Tuesday's issue of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.
But they were surprised when their studies of how the male and female brains react to humor showed that women were more analytical in their response, and felt more pleasure when they decided something really was funny.
"Women appeared to have less expectation of a reward, which in this case was the punch line of the cartoon," said Reiss. "So when they got to the joke's punch line, they were more pleased about it."
Women were subjecting humor to more analysis with the aim of determining if it was indeed funny, Reiss said in a telephone interview.
Men are using the same network in the brain, but less so, he said, men are less discriminating.
"It doesn't take a lot of analytical machinery to think someone getting poked in the eye is funny," he commented when asked about humor like the Three Stooges.
While there is a lot of overlap between how men and women process humor, the differences can help account for the fact that men gravitate more to one-liners and slapstick while women tend to use humor more in narrative form and stories, Reiss said.
The funnier the cartoon the more the reward center in the women's brain responded, unlike men who seemed to expect the cartoons to be funny from the beginning, the researchers said.
The new insight could improve understanding of such conditions as depression, the researchers said.
"The bottom line is that I think it contributes to the foundation of understanding individual differences in humans," Reiss said. Humor is used by humans to cope with stress and to establish relationships, and it can even help strengthen the immune system.
Reiss' team studied the response of 10 women and 10 men to 70 black-and-while cartoons, asking them to rate the jokes for how funny they were. While the volunteers were looking at the cartoons their brains were being studied with an MRI to determine what parts of the brains were responding.
In large part, men and women had similar responses to humor, using parts of the brain responsible for the structure and context of language and for understanding juxtaposition.
In women, however, some areas were more active than in men. These included the left prefrontal cortex, which the researchers said suggests a greater emphasis on language and executive processing, and the nucleus accumbens, or NAcc, which is part of the reward center.
Reiss said he was surprised at the NAcc finding. The researchers theorized that because women were being more analytical they weren't necessarily expecting the cartoons to be as funny as did the men.
Then, when they saw the punch line, the reward center lit up, indicating something pleasant and unexpected.
Arnie Cann, a psychology professor at the University of North Carolina, Charlotte, commented: "Given the findings in the current study, that women appear to use more executive functions, it could be that they are more engaged in scrutinizing the humor to decide if it fits their views on what is acceptable humor. Once they decide the humor is OK, they could be experiencing a relief-like response."
That would fit in with the finding that women experience more reward from the joke, said Cann, who was not part of Reiss' research team.
Reiss' research was funded by the National Institutes of Health.

The Real Reason

Question: Why was Yaacov hit on his thigh by the Malach of Eisav, why didn't he touch him on his arm or face?

Answer: Because that is where the Cellphone is kept.

Boro Park and Gerrer Chassidim

I have just returned from a awe-inspiring Shabbos in Boro Park. I stayed by a Gerrer Chasid who I met while taking classes at COPE. He is an amazing person with excellent character traits and a great sense of humor. I admire him tremendously. He is currently in college and going for his CPA. He has cute kids and has a nice family. I aspire to be like him. Davening in the Gerrer shteble, one sees a world with educated people in both Torah and worldly matters. They are doctors, lawyers, accountants and business people. The community is friendly and open. They have beautiful minhagim and songs. It is inspiring to experience a shabbos there. The quality of life that the chasidim have is above and beyond what you see portrayed on television and read in books depicting the non religious/secular world. Most of the secular world is plagued by disfunctional families and boredom. They walk around aimlessly with no purpose to life. These people walk around with every minute of their lives accounted for. They value family and good deeds. They are educated in every science and art. Their wives are pretty. Their children are cute. What more can a person want out of life? Although I don't believe I will become a Gerrer Chasid, I am happy I have been privileged and have seen a peek into their world and experienced a taste of a Gerrer Shabbos.

Final Essay

Please write an essay of approximately 500 words about yourself. You
may include your personal history and describe the influences on your
intellectual development. You may also write about what you wish to
accomplish at Brooklyn College, and your special interests, abilities, career
plans, and life goals. The essay should not repeat facts already listed
on the application. The statement should be typed, double spaced.
Please make sure that your name, Social Security number, telephone number,
and 'New Transfer Undergraduate' are at the top of each page.

     Diligently, I studied the application; the empty spaces where the name and information to be filled brought feelings of apprehension in my heart. A jumbling of thoughts skittered through my consciousness as the realization of the implication of filling out the application entailed sunk in. A life lived for other's is a life worth living; Einstein. Applying to Brooklyn College was my way of expressing a desire to create for myself a life that would be productive and independent. Education, I felt, was the way to a better life: one that would be shared with others who I touched and would become touched through our diverse cultures in my search for meaning and growth. While growing up and attending to a private Jewish day school, I did not have much contact with other cultures. The insular environment provided me with a strong background in Judaic matters such as the Bible and Talmud, an encyclopedic work of Jewish Law, but left me socially deficient and inadequate to deal with the diverse cultural world outside the four wall of the Yeshiva (Hebrew for school). My first class in Brooklyn College was Core 10, Philosophy. Entering a class with tens of multi-ethnic students of all ages and appearances, I felt a feeling of wonderment and vertigo. Feeling shy, I sat by the farthest seat in the class not knowing how to act or where to begin to interact with my new classmates. Staring down, I avoided looking at anyone who remotely looked different than me. Realizing that this mode of behavior was not going to make me friendly to anyone, I turned to the person next to me, who turned out to be a recent immigrant from Jamaica, and stammered out a barely audible hello. I had to repeat it again, until he finally noticed someone was talking to him, and then as normal as can be he returned my salutation. I was so surprised; I almost fell out of my chair. Mentally balancing myself, I introduced myself and told him I was new to the school and asked him for his name.  Ever so politely he told me; that started the beginning of a friendship that continued throughout the semester. I was now officially broken in: the ice was melting and the warmth I felt was indescribable.
     The feeling followed me into all my classes. People respected me for who I was and what I represented religiously. I was not subject to degradation. Teachers and fellow students expressed an interest in getting to understand my perspective and esoteric way of life. I began to open up and become friendly with many people, who before my entrance to college, I wouldn't have given a second glance on the street. My development into coming to terms with my phobia of strangers weakened and waned as the weeks flew by. My proliferation of friendships solidified that I was progressing into becoming a better, more sociable person. I became happy when I realized that I was learning and growing.
     The other advancements that I made in college, due in part to a dedicated professor, was to realize that I enjoyed Accounting. The opportunities and benefits that were touted by the Wall Street Journal: the accounting profession was experiencing unprecedented job vacancies and was to grow by a large percentage, sweetened the notion of becoming a Certified Public Accountant. I made it a personal goal of mine to begin a career in the financial arts. As a young boy I was always put in charge as the class treasurer to collect and tally up the money when we went on a class trip. I was always meticulous to count every last penny and mark the final amount on a piece of paper. Dedicated to being honest and responsible, I set my heart on guarding the money with my life. From the steps of the school, until we reached the final destination, my two "bodyguards", muscular classmates who I appointed to the right and left of me, protected me and made sure we were not accosted by any of the possible bandits who would dare to dream of robbing the class's money. Ingrained in me was this feeling that money and I shared a destiny. Little did I know how true it would be when I decided to Major in Accounting. I decided I would join the honorable profession of people dedicated to making the financial community a safer and less corruptible place. I would direct my analytical abilities -gleaned and honed by the study of the Talmud- to good use, by analyzing transactions in corporations and deciding the proper way to account the proper underlying economic reality into the accounting equation. My dream of becoming the CFO of a major company begins with my Accounting 1 class at Brooklyn College. My aspirations to succeed are strong. Life is based on priorities. My priorities are to be the best student I can be at the school that makes it possible. Brooklyn College. My life is open before me and my passion and dedication to increase the quality of my life and those of others will be in my mind: as I start on the lowest rung of the ladder, and climb to the top.