Rain, Rain, Go Away

Oy! Am I a mess! When it rains it pours. The obvious consquence of that is that I become drenched. Four job offers and none that I see that as the PERFECT job. One requires me to work in the mountains, which means no dating, comfort of home, internet, blogging, and being away from my beloved yeshivah and chaverim. The other job is a part time working with develpmentally disabled people, which is only sporadic during the week and not the most fun. The pros are, it is good pay and I'm in my yeshivah and I have internet and ability to date. The other job which I still haven't confirmed if there really is a job available becuase I haven't spoken to the person who I was referenced to, and therefore it is a sofek if it exists and I sort of gave my word on the mountain camp job and I can't backout becuase I am embarrased to go on an interview with the second job and then say sorry I have the first job or tell the first job I found a better job. See? I am stuck. So I am wallowing in self pity now, trying to extricate myself but not knowing what to do. I still don't know what o do about the shidduch. It may be due to my imaturity in not realizing that marriage is not based on beauty and my head is saying another girl won't be any better, but my heart is saying stay away, not noggeiah.
In my pity I went shopping to make myself a barbeque. It is summer you know! I use the george forman grill, it should come out well. Yummy. Anyone want to join for a B-B-Q date? I am kind of lonely :-( .