Monday, July 04, 2005

What sickness do you have?

The reichter scale of sexual impropriey by bloggers has been reaching new hights. It is becoming increasingly impossible to read blogs without using X rated terms and words. Isn't that sad. Unbridled lust can lead to severe breakup of the family unit. Gynecomania, satyriasis, with the varants satyrism and satyromania, (unbriddled lust in men) and for the woman, SIX discrete words; nymphomania, andromania, clitoromania, phallomania, hysteromania, and the general term for abnormal sexual desire, erotomania- describe acurately the problems that need correction by todays lustfully driven "Jewish Bloggers". I have compiled a list of sicknesses that are prevalent in the blogging community that I suggest working on before ELUL and ROSH HASHANA and YOM KIPPUR. The time to start is NOW.

If you exhibit any of these symptoms, I suggest you consult a pyschiyatrist as soon as possible without delay.

1)ablutoskepsis-sexual excitement derived from secretly watching a person bathing naked.
2)altocalciphilia-sexual desire for a person wearing high heels.
3)anililagnia-attraction to old women.
4) apodyopsis-the act of mentally undressing a person or fantasizing about he or she looks like naked.
5)basorexia-an overwhelming desire to kiss or neck.
6)bemascopia-sexual excitement derived from observing a woman's leg as she walks or climbs steps.
7)brachycraspedonia-sexual excitment aroused by ogling women in short or tight skirts.
8)brassiroregia-salacious interest in brassieres.
9)chorotripsis-sexual excitment derived from body friction while dancing.
10)colpkinophilia-an attraction to small brested women.
11)coxinutant-having a seductive sway in the hips when walking.
12)cyesolagnia-attraction to pregnant women.
13)cingulomania-a strong desire to hold a person in your arms.
14)cheiloproclitic-attracted to the lips.
15)gerontolagnia-strong sexual desire in an older man.
16)gomphipothic-sexually excited by the sight of lovely teeth.
17) GYMNOCRYPTOSIS- telling others about your intimate sexual experiences.
18)gymnophoria-the sense that someone is mentally undressing you even htough you are clothed.
19)gynonudomania-the overwhelming urge to tear off a woman's clothes.
20)hirsutophilia-attraction to hairy men.
21)krukolibidinous-crotch-watching
22)lavacultophilia- desire to ogle people wearing bathing suits.
23)sphallolalia-flirtatious talk that does not lead to amorous action.
24)ximelolagnia-desire to ogle woman who are sitting with their legs crossed.
25)viricapnity-the aura of virile sexuality presumed to eminate from a man who is smoking.

For those of you who wish to continue this course in SARCOLOGY, the study of the soft or fleshy parts of the body, drop me a note.

3 Comments:

Blogger Malka said...

Your verbosity of late has been very amusing! However, perhaps you should be filling your time with other things!! Trust me, when fantasies of pudendum suddenly begin to pullulate in your cerebrum you would be best to crack open a book and learn some Torah, lest your thoughts become subjugated by this..

Malka

12:17 PM  
Blogger EN said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12:26 PM  
Blogger Karl said...

you only see what you are looking for. If thats the sort of blogs you are reading, then thats your own doing.

7:15 PM  

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