Sunday, June 05, 2005


Imitation is the highest form of flattery. Or so they say. I have just recieved an update on the shidduch that was red to me and that she has agreed to fly in. I am elated (yes, I like that word). The hurdle I must overcome now is to act like a man and not scare her away. Believe it or not (and no, I won't make it on Ripley's) I have many issues that needs dealings. Meaning, that needs to be dealt with. And that's putting it mildly. Now, however, ergo that fact, the most important thing is to deal with the phone call. To put the question bluntly, how do I sound like a man over the phone, so that she will not cringe when she hears me speak? I have been informed that the phone call is a means of introduction to be furthered upon face to face contact. This is novel to me. I am apprehensive to the fact that I might be made into a fool. Foolishly, I might add. I need to know from the experts on females and a quick 101 class what makes a man a man so that females will fall heads over heels over me (and don't suggest perfume or any other remedys that involve time or money). I'm talking about comunication, here. What is flattering that will work any time and is fairly innocuous (AKA tzniusdik) to say to a innocent young girl who supposidly has not exchanged words with a member of the male species. (and probably thinks all men are romantic as the Stars of their favorite movie). Helpful tips to make this poor YB excel at this difficult task will be rewarded in the world to come.


Blogger Malka said...

My best advice is to be yourself!

9:48 PM  
Blogger Shopaholic said...

I HATE and dread that phone call!! Its the worst part and I try to get out of it whenever I can. Make it short... How much to do you have to talk about before you meet her anyway?!?

10:27 PM  
Blogger Shopaholic said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:27 PM  
Blogger Thurston said...

what the hell are you saying????
i mean if you want to make an imprssion, spend time and money. Dont be cheap, its the true turn off, showing a woman that she is not worth it, and hell she is Flying in to see you! she's spending money why cant you? and get a good scent forma friend or something, try it, it cant hurt, but dont ove do it! lastly, dont let all your misery and depression shine through, that willmake her turn so fast and run for the life of her, as if you were some kind of monster. stop taking advice form your mom, she not cool, get advice from your frinds, you said your chavrusa just got engaged, ask him for some tips, or other guys in yeshivva! your folks have not been on the dating seen for years, (and if they were the divorved/widowed scene is a colpetely differnt world), use your friends to your advantage, steal some of thier cologne and smell decent show that you are putting some effort into this date, not just a shower and shave, go the extra yard! it wont hurt i prommise, you can never try to hard. go for it let us know when your dates is and how it goes, i would love to hear details!!!

10:33 PM  
Blogger survivor said...

ditto to malka's advice, just be yourself, sweetly ask how her day'll do great

10:57 PM  
Blogger EN said...

Malka- *sniff* thank you.
shopaholic-I wish I didn't have to call, if it was up to me I would pantomime through marriage without saying a word to my wife. I think it is more romantic that way. But you know how society is- a bummer.
THiii-I'll let you know how it turned out if she accepts the phone call.
Survivor- I don't know what I would do without your support.Your truly a great (blogger) friend.

12:11 AM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Well, in the yeshivish circles (where the internet is assur and all that), the shadchan takes care of the phone calls for you! They arrange the time between the two of you, get her address and all, and it's a completely blind date.
I also once had a phone call that lasted 2 minutes. At first I was taken aback, but then I realized, "hey he's saving material for the date..." But yeah, usually they ask me, "How was your day," which is like so dumb bec they don't know me or my schedule, but it makes sense, because then I say, "Well, it was a usual day in school, I had physics in the morning..." obviously not every detail, but a clear descrpition, and that either leads to more specific details, or she'll ask you how yours was. It'll be okay, don't worry too much--the more nervous you are, the more it will show. (sorry, but that's def true for me)
For dating tips, check out the post on my blog, entitled, "What Girls Want On Dates," doesn't get more obvious than that. It's in the August '04 folder.
Hatzlacha Rabbah!

10:27 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Oh yeah, the address there is:

10:27 PM  
Blogger Moiy-rah said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:57 PM  

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