Family Guy

There are so many new ideas that are flashing through my mind. There is power when I am able to speak what I want, *hehehe*. I know, that sounds like a witch kackling, but it is bring back childhood memories of reading the "Witches Cauldraun". Ooof, I wish I could get it out of my head! Those child stories have perverted my mind beyond repair :( . Well, on to nicer thoughts. An update on the DAF. Yes, I have been up to date, *I think*. You know what-I am beginning to realize I think to much and not do much. I better watch my verbs. Which reminds me, I was giving my mother some reference numbers of a girl to check out and I was reminding her of somethings to ask about, (because she is clueless in knowing what to ask), and I mentioned, you know, "someone that I can have FUN with". She blew her top. "Your not ready for marriage, marriage is not for fun.....ect. ect." I was stunned and hurt. What did I say wrong?! I was just reminding her to make sure the girl was pleasant to be around and not someone who was mean and angry and depressed (I can take care of that in the marriage ;) ). She calls my sister o the phone and says to her, "explain it to him, he doesn't get it". So I tell her what happend and she says to me FUN is what teenagers have, like go to clubs and hang out. Marriage is SOOO much more serious. I tell her, "your crazy", (I don't know if I used such foul language but that is what is coming up on my brain screen). "FUN is an all inclusive word, it means everything included, of course I am not looking to have a good time. I am looking for a serious marriage minded mate who wants to remain married for life." She then tells me these words I'll never forget. "Nothing is implied". "You want something, you speak it out and noone will understand you until you do." That hurt. I want people to instantly understand what I want when I am thinking it. I HATE talking. Until now. I realize I must think what I want and then use the best words possible to describe the right ideas and concepts. Because in the end, what I speak (or not) is what I think. This is why we are human and this is the Soul that G-d put into us. A Ruach Memallela, a talking spirit as Unkolos Teiches it.
While on the subject of the shidduch, I must confess I have never had to deal with such a delema before. This particular girl is from out of town and she has agreed to fly in for a few dates. While I am flattered that she is willing to shell out money to initially see me, this presents many forseeable and unforseeable problems. This means it is going to be hard for me to say no because I feel bad she is spending money, and it means I will have to fly to her town if it works out, which forces me to spend money and decide how to get around her town and all the hassles it brings....and it might not even work out. I don't know if I should stick to local girls or am I "throwing away my besheret" if I don't respond to this shidduch. (It's not like I have lists and list of girls waiting for me , I'm not the next Rosh Yeshiva or Gadol Hador, or even in Lakewood).