Thursday, July 21, 2005

Are all men like this?

This post has been inspired by this quote on H.com:
Click
Yawning, I opened my eyes and turned on my side. The cold air from the air-conditioner felt great on my hot skin. The room was the perfect temperature. The way I liked it. The sun peeked through the window promising a new treat. Yesterdays woes were a distant dream. Today was the start of a new beginning. I climbed out of bed, and straightened my boxers, I flexed my muscles and admired my handsome biceps in the mirror. Yesterdays workout seemed to give it the curves and thickness I so badly needed. I examined my abs. Yep, my six pack was noticeable. A little strip of fat still covered it but who cares, I still could do my Michael Jackson walk and 400 sit-ups. I pulled down my boxers. I turned around and looked at my ass. I gave it a little slap. There was no jello jingle. Hard as a rock. I had removed the forest of hair, because I read in Men's Journal that girls hate butt hair. For all those interested, I stopped tweaking my uni-brow when I read in Bangitout.com that girls think it is un-cool. My legs were sturdy as trees. Confident now, I slowly began to turn in a half circle to admire my profile. "So, I have a long nose," I thought to myself. All Jews have long noses. As Jackie Mason says, "You can't find a Jewish girl without looking like she got hit by a truck. They all have nose jobs." I am going to make it my duty to preserve the genes of the Jewish long nose. We don't want it to die out. Evolution promulgated its length for a reason. I continue to check myself that my body was perfect. Nary a zit. Not above and not below. The wind rustles the drapes. My eye catches this magnet. My eyes are pulled without any action on my part toward this speck in my vision. It has a outline of an hourglass. Long strands of luxurious black hair, like the color showed on the commercial for Head and Shoulders shampoo. Her walk is mesmerizing. I can not pull my eyes away from this goddess. Her belly ring is showing from her bare midriff. The sunlight glints off of it. I see it is a real diamond. Her long eyelashes are sparkling from vaseline that was placed to make it shiny. Her eyebrows are tweaked in a perfect arch. My eyes snake down to her large cleavage. A "D" cup for sure. I started feeling a little twitch in between my thighs. I looked down. A little frisky puppy wanted to have some fun.

The idol turned the corner.

I went to take a cold shower.

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why are your posts getting so weird? Is this you? I uesed to enjoy reading and commenting....now I find I have n/t to say, what happened?

12:55 AM  
Blogger EN said...

Can't I have some fun sometimes? I love making up stories, I am trying to figure out what sounds good in writing. I am trying different styles. I like to see what will generate comments. Is it too prust? I need some feed back. What do you like to be written and what did you enjoy about my earlier posts.My earlier post were more of questions and depressions I have, these new posts are my opinion and hashkafa regarding certain topic. Not all facts are true, I exaggerate a lot.

1:01 AM  
Blogger Moiy-rah said...

what happened when i was gone. well written and weird.

1:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Is it too prust? I need some feed back"

Yes!! you write really well and some of these posts are not the "you" I've come to know!
I thought you've just gone all weird on me

"Not all facts are true, I exaggerate a lot."

Then write that you are...you write so well its beliveable and I'm losing my "handel" on you...

"What do you like to be written and what did you enjoy about my earlier posts.My earlier post were more of questions and depressions I have, these new posts are my opinion and hashkafa regarding certain topic"

I like that they seemed honest and self assured, now I can't seem to figure if your exaggerating or if you "fell off"...

2:17 AM  
Anonymous S said...

A little too graphic. that's all.

12:53 PM  
Blogger Malka said...

I was amused and worried somewhat but now I am reassured! ;-)

1:24 PM  

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