Stubborness

To be an Ackshan in Hebrew means to be stubborn. One can be stubborn in many situations such as in their religious beliefs, in loving their spouse, in praying to God, or in their studies. It behoves us to understand where this trait is derived from in order to remedy our negative actions. I have been called a donkey several times in my life. I am assuming that it was for a good reason. My favorite word is "No." Without getting too Freudian, I think the reason I enjoy saying no is because it shifts responsibilty to someone else to accomplish what I do not wish to be bothered with. It is much easier for me to reflexively tell someone I am too busy or I do not know how to do a certain task rather than attempt to work out a solution. Or it may be possible I am mentally slow- I do not know. Examples of unmotivation range from: waking up on time for Shachris; coming on time for Seder; not watching movies or TV; calling my mother; and studying for tests. From my vantage point in life it seems that others have it easier to be able to accomplish great things. I do envy those who have made strides in accomplishing great things for humanity. Changing myself into becoming a better person is to begin to change the world; but, wouldn't it be nice if I can come up with some new cure for cancer or some new codification of Tanach?