Thursday, September 22, 2005


Religion. Hashkafa. Perspective. All very powerful words. Will it make it or break it? I found out that the mother of the girl I am dating does not cover her hair. Should that be a break it issue?

Update: I asked my Rabbi if it should be an issue and he said that if everything else looks ok and the parents are honest people then it should not be an issue. Now, how do I find out if they are honest people?


Blogger Robert said...

HELL NO, plenty of people don't follow every aspect of their parents, and should not be judged on the stupid actions of their parents.

9:00 AM  
Blogger RuchniGashmi said...

Yeshivabachur, don't you dare break a shidduch based on her mothers wearing a shaitel or not. That is shallow and not an issue. Hear me out!!

10:58 AM  
Blogger Shoshana said...

If you decide that this girl's mother's hair covering breaks the shidduch, does that also mean that you wouldn't date a baal teshuvah? Does that mean that you don't think that someone can, at least externally, surpass the level of her parents? Does that mean that her mother didn't teach her good middos, interpersonal skils and giving the benefit of the doubt, all of which are based on Torah? To end a shidduch based on something like this, if everything else is going well, would be stupidity (and I don't usually use such strong language).

12:24 PM  
Blogger RuchniGashmi said...

Whatever happens remember this- you are marrying her and not her parents. Don't be thinking about them. Though I am sure we only get to hear the stuff you are writing about and that there are many more important issues you are considering in this girl, it is somewhat disturbing to see you struggling with the type of people her parents are. Chill out about them!

3:59 PM  
Blogger Malka said...

Whassa matter with you? First of all, there is no test one can administer to gage whether people are honest or not. The only way to know what these people are like is to first be honest yourself and spend time with them and their daughter.. whatever you do, don't judge or break anything off until you see for yourself! I'm a little surprised that you would even need to ask the question as to whether your shidduch's Ima not covering her hair is important enough of an issue that you should consider not seeing this girl anymore. Makes me think that you still lack the maturity and are generally not ready for this level of commitment yet. Give it up with the holier-than-thou attitude and just be yourself!

5:01 PM  

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