Lost Mail

Sometimes I get the feeling as if I am just not getting it. Be it in learning, jokes, communication with others, understanding myself.....
My Yetzer Harah does not let my ego live in peace. It constantly strives to drag me down lower and lower. I need to get the message and not give in. I need to accept reality. What is the definition of reality? When is it possible to say I have done my Hishtadlus and now I can sit back and say "Hashem, now it is your turn?" Probably never, even if I get hurt in the process it is a learning experience. All the best intentions in the world are just that. Good intentions. He knows what is good for me. He could have sent the mail three weeks ago but I am finally reading now.