Jokes

Adam's Rib

God creates Adam, and soon Adam is complaining that he's all alone in the Garden of Eden. So God says, "Okay, I'll make you a companion, a beautiful creature who'll cook and clean for you. It will be able to converse intelligently on any subject, and never ever complain or argue." Adam says, "That sounds great." God says, "The only thing is, it will cost you an arm and a leg." Adam says, "That's expensive!! What can I get for a rib?" Everything I Needed to Know I Learned From Noah's Ark Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark. Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone might ask you to do something REALLY big Don't listen to critics -- do what has to be done. Build on high ground. For safety's sake, travel in pairs. Two heads are better than one. Speed isn't always an advantage. The cheetahs were on board, but so were the snails. If you can't fight or flee -- float! Take care of your animals as if they were the last ones on earth. Don't forget that we're all in the same boat. When the doo-doo gets really deep, don't sit there and complain -- shovel!!! Stay below deck during the storm. Remember that the ark was built by amateurs and the Titanic was built by professionals. If you have to start over, have a friend by your side. Remember that the woodpeckers INSIDE are often a bigger threat than the storm outside. Don't miss the boat. No matter how bleak it looks, there's always a rainbow on the other side.