Torah Jew

Life

2010-03-25T16:18:00.001-04:00

Life is wonderful :-)

Yippie!

2006-06-13T11:56:00.000-04:00

One more week! I am SO excited and happy!

Baruch Hashem!

Time to say good-bye

2006-03-09T00:30:00.000-05:00

I am not good at saying good byes. I have done it once before and I deleted my blog because I was ashamed of what I wrote in it. I am not ashamed of my blog. It has been an excellent outlet for me to express myself, my fears and depressed thought. I have met many interesting and nice people. I have made many friendships that I never would have with my blog. I hope to keep them going through e-mail. Writing has been theraputic. When I started my blog I was depressed and uncertain as to who I was. B'h all this has changed with my blessing that I find in my finace. Frankly I dont have much time to blog. I am busy with college, yeshiva, and my fiance. I now have someone I can talk long hours into the night with instead of reading someone elses words in cyberspace. The relationship that I had with my blog was taken over by my fiance. I no longer need to cry at night to my blog. I have my fiance. For all my loyal readers and anyone who has gained anything by my blog I thank you for your loyal readership and comments. You have enhanced my life immensly. I will leave my blog up for anyone who would like to read it and I hope you will find something useful.

EN

Medical Help

2006-02-25T19:46:00.000-05:00

Help for medical issues:
Frum Support

The Road of Life

2006-02-25T19:04:00.000-05:00

Engaged life is wonderful. There is so much to enjoy and to be happy for. The entire day goes by with the thoughts of building a pleasant life with someone. Life is now not focused on me but on pouring big tubs of love on someone else. It takes effort, it takes drive and hard work. Life is no easy street. Instead of hurting only myself by not taking care my health or by being lazy I hurt someone else as well. I am working of having a pleasant counternace, and a positive perspective. Happiness is a state of mind and I am working to achieve the perfect state of mind. Human achievement is complete when the ideals of life become reality. I am empowered to choose my destiny.

The Journey to Happiness

2006-02-10T13:51:00.000-05:00

Tonight my Rebbi is making an Oneg Shabbos/Vort to celebrate my engagement for all my friends who were not able to attend the one in LA. It is really nice and I am appreciative of him, and of all my friends who are so happy for me and eager to see me happy. I am one lucky guy. I thank Hashem day to day for the gift he has given me and the Menuchas Hanefesh that I don't need to constantly think and doubt if I will ever find someone who loves me for who I am, and, who has given me someone special to grow with and make this world a better place. Perserverance in doing good and acting with responsibility, purpose and reason is the most important, and by default, the most difficult thing to do. Sitting by the Gemarah and Shulchan Oruch, realizing I might never have this opportunity again to learn without headache and worry gives me the chills. I should be taking advantage of every spare moment I have to learn and soak up knowledge. The more I take college courses the more I realize how valuable Torah learning is to maintain my Jewish identity. They compliment each other. The more secular subjects I learn, the more I value and appreciate the wisdom found in the Torah. The more I learn and work at the lumdus in the gemarah, the easier it is for me to grasp the concepts in class. When I go to my Economics class and I hear difficult concepts, I can grasp it with in a few minutes. However when I hear shiur and I see how difficult the subject matter and how complex the issues are, and barly scratch the surface, I realize Torah is more than just a subject. It is a spiritual journey to the knowledge of purpose and happiness. It is hard and difficult but the light at the end of the tunnel shines bright. There is no doubt.

Funny Videos

2006-02-06T23:22:00.000-05:00

The Last Gate
The Amazing Racist
Yeshivish Numa
Scotish dance

KosherKomedy

2006-02-05T14:07:00.000-05:00

"Doctors say that laughter is good for the mind - and the body, producing those wonderful calming hormones, like serotonin, which we all need a lot of these days! So do yourself a favor and listen to this wonderful lady. Ayelet is the funniest, glatt kosher, comedienne I've ever had the pleasure of listening to. My sister and I practically fell off our chairs listening to her!" --- Miriam Adahan

www.kosherkomedy.com

Life continues...

2006-02-04T23:33:00.000-05:00

And so, the first week of college has ended. My classes are more difficult than last semester, and the books costlier than I ever imagined, but the bright side is that I am engaged, so all the heartache doesn't seem so painful. Taruvos is getting more challenging and complex with abstract concepts that are difficult to remember and apply. I have more respect now for all the Rabbanim who are able to rattle off Shach, Taz, Mechaber and Rema. The weather in Ny is rainy, but B"h I am not complaining because it could be worse; it could be snowing. My perspective on life is much different now that I am engeaged. Instead of wondering if I will find a partner in life, I am now getting on with my life and looking on how to expand my responsibilites and become part of a community. The oportunities seem better when I have a partner to help me juggle through the difficulties in life.

Simcha

2006-01-30T19:05:00.000-05:00

Hello all. Thank you so very much for your outpouring of brachos and congradulations, it was much appreciated. Being so busy, I had no time to write and so much going on with my vort, my brother's bar Mitzvah, my brother getting engaged right after me, I have so much to thank Hashem that he has really given me so much simcha. I am back in Yeshiva until Peasach. It is going to be hard to be away from my Kalla for so long. I told her instead of getting me a watch she should come visit me. She promised me she would. There is so much more for me to focus on now, now that I am engaged. I don't need to focus on looking at women anymore, I don't need to date, I am a happy camper,now all I need to do is to study to be a good husband and earn a living. I am looking forward to raising children and being a loving spouse. Finding meaning in my learning and appreciating every obscure Daf of Gemarah is still a challenge. I don't know if I am cut out for learning in Kollel. I believe in order to get paid for Kollel one should e an outstanding Talmid Chacham and be involved in community matters, which I am not cut out to do. So, I still hang in balance as to what my next move will be after we get married. I need to earn a living but I am still undecided as to what contribution I can give to society with thousands of older and wiser people have been working on. I am still green at this. I daven that Hashem should give me a break through.

Quick Update

2006-01-23T19:17:00.000-05:00

Hello, I have a short few moments to write, a lot has happened, so I will try to condence a long story into a few moments. B"h the engagment is official. After a spell of cold feet, tension headaches, lengthy deliberations, I finally proposed. The facinating part of this whole ordeal is that getting engaged doesn't make life any easier. New propblems replaced old ones. New challenges arise that require delicate handling. Life is complex. But I took the jump, so bring it on. I'll tune you in to more when I take a deep breath.

Hey there...

2006-01-09T15:50:00.000-05:00

Hi :)
EN asked me to check his email for him today since he is a little bit under the weather, but iy'h he'll have a speedy refuah shleimah. I was privileged to read all of your thoughtful messages and ideas on how he should propose, they were all very cute. If he decides to use any of them I will act very surprised. The idea of asking my sister was a good one, only i don't have a sister, so your advice is, I'm sure very well received by him. Thank you all very much, hatzlacha rabba and b'shah tovah to all of you :)

Ahhhhh...

2006-01-05T22:54:00.000-05:00

YAY! B"h I just finished my last final. YAY! Now I can relax and think about important things like: where will I get the ring, how am I going to pay for it, do I get down on my right knee or left knee or both (but maybe that is a problem because of bowing to avodah zarah...)Do I wear my hat when I propose, what do I say when I meet her parents, her brother? What should I say, "Would you like to marry me?", or "Will you marry me?", or "I love you and I want to marry me, will you be mine?" or other variations such as these. [Place your suggestion in the comments]. Also, should I tell her about the time I did... or should I wait until after I give the ring and see what she does with it?

A Little Peek

2006-01-03T14:08:00.000-05:00

So, some of you are interested in knowing what is going on with my relationship; so I'll tell you. I haven't proposed yet. I am going home to LA for my brother's Bar Mitzvah in about 9 days, and plan on meeting her parents, and then propose. Her mother has already met my parents and B"h things are moving. In the meanwhile we are speaking to each other on the phone daily and generally counting down the days until we can be together. I have sent her pictures of me, reflecting my daily routine, and she has sent me a few of her. I don't want to write how I am planning to propose in case she happens to check this blog. I have told her the address once but I don't think she reads it. The biggest difficulty I have found so far is to maintain her trust in me. I have broken a few promises, unfortunitally. Maintaining trust in overcoming taivos is by far the most difficult thing I have come across. That about raps it up. I have finals today in philosophy, so wish me luck.

Latke-Hamentashen Debate

2005-12-30T15:01:00.000-05:00

Latke-Hamentashen Debate:
University of Chicago:Audio
MIT:Visual

Channuka Videos:Chabad5towns

Video of a Hevron Yeshiva:Shavei Hevron

Yeshiva HS of Tucon:YHST

Yeshiva in Sanur:Sanur

Hurricane in Yeshiva of Miami:YTC

Advice Needed

2005-12-27T18:24:00.000-05:00

Hypothetically speaking, what are some great ways to propose to a girl?

Good News

2005-12-27T18:08:00.000-05:00

I've had an amazing day. First seder went awsome. We had a Messiba by my Rebbi's house and I was the one in charge of buying the presents. I now know what a hassle it is to collect money from people. I don't press anyone for money because I know how hard it is for some people to afford it. I just inform them we are collecting money ($5 a guy) and if they wanted to give they could. I ended up shelling out $15 but I got three promises to give me some moeny so I hope they follow through. I also bought gift card that said, "thank you for your gift it really gave a lift"(something like this) and I added in quotes, "In ruchnius of course!" As usual there was a couple of guys who didn't think it was appropirate to give such a joking card to a Rebbi , it is not Kavod Hatorah, and also the gifts were too little and we should rather give nothing if we can't give an appropriate monetary gift. I was a little insulted as I was the only one doing anything to set this gift up but I did see their point, but I ignored it out of desperation because I really wanted to give a gift and I didn't care what anyone else thought and I knew my Rebbi would appreiciate what ever I did. How ever all these points are valid. There is so much to be thankful for and one must do everything with tact. I spoke a bout Hakaras Hatov and how we had to appreciate our Rebbi who does so much for us. I also spoke with my Rebbi from Yeshiva in Israel whom I haven't spoken to in over a year. Can you believe he still was asking other guys about me and knew everything I was doing and where I was in life. He kept tabs on me. I love you Rebbi! You are the best! (No he does not read this blog but I can't contain my love). Does a girl make a Shehechiyanu on recieving an engagment ring or candlesticks? What if she never lit candles before she got married, does she make it then? Happy Channuka.

Happy Channuka

2005-12-25T09:18:00.000-05:00

My Menorah

Crazy, Wacky World of Jewish Videos

2005-12-18T23:47:00.000-05:00

B"h if you search Google Video you will find a plethora of Jewish music videos, Jewish comedy videos and interesting clips ranging from all types of Jewish themes. As a visual person, I enjoy watching action. It is great to be able to enjoy a guilt free music video. Here are some links I have found:

Spoof on L'cha
Harry Potter Spoof
Lipa
Crazy Mendy
Moron Squad

Not funny but sad:
JUhal

Arghhhhhhhhhh!

2005-12-18T22:49:00.000-05:00

ACCOUNTING IS GIVING ME A HEADACHE!!!!!!! at least right now after 15 hours or so of studying... I need a massage.....

E=Mc2 What?

2005-12-18T09:21:00.000-05:00

So, I was in Far Rockaway this shabbos for an Afruf and I had a fabulous time; the highlight of the shabbos was my speech of course :-). While I won't bore you with what I said, I will tell you a vort that I heard from R' Waxman, who spoke during Seuda Shlishis, b'shem Einstein . R' Waxman said over that he had an aquantance whose father corresponded with Einstein. Among those letters, Einstein said a 'vort'. He wrote (my wording), "It is no coincidene that the gematria of the word 'Shakai', God's name, is 314, the same numbers as in Pi. Just as Pi is infinite among finite so too Hashem is infinite as a circle." As they say a true or maybe made up story; Einstein sent a letter to the Rogachover saying he was as smart as two Einsteins; the Rogochover wrote back, as smart as two Einsteins and 200 Maskilim in change.

FINALS

2005-12-13T22:35:00.000-05:00

It is that time again. Time to memorize the meterial for a few hours and forget it after taking the test. I admit, some of the philosophy material is facinating. Especially Nietzsche; that guy must have been smoking something. Learning the meterial does put my Jewish philosophy in a whole new light. I am actually appreciating my religion. When I see what else is out there, I am glad I have something that is worthwhile and useful.
Yesterday, while I was registering for the next semester, I was delt a nasty surprise. Three out of the four classes I wanted to sign up for were closed out. I went balistic. I needed those specific classes and at those times because those time slots were the only ones I could go to college without being thrown out of Yeshivah. Hashem had other plans. After a good few hours I found classes that fit my time slots and gave me a few extra credits to boot. So Hashem was right after all. I made a boo-boo. There was no reason for me to get upset. This was a lesson for me to learn that Hashem runs the world and not I. So until finals are over (sometimes next week) I will be absent from blogging. For all those in a similar matzav, Hatzlacha; and wish me as well: I need it desperately.

Channuka Video

2005-12-11T21:01:00.000-05:00

I know there are many Channuka videos out there but this one seems kinda far out.
Dreidel to the Grave

A Right or a Privilege?

2005-12-11T13:58:00.000-05:00

I know this issue has been brought up in many blog such as Ruchnigashmi and YO and has been the point of discussion in The Jewish Ethicist, if schools have the right to pick and choose elite students in the study of Torah. In theory, I agree that the teaching of Torah is an unalienable right for every Jew and no school should ever turn down anyone who wishes to have a Jewish education, whether they can afford it or not, and schools should not decide to accept a student based on money or yichus; however, I do not feel in this case the answer to the question posed to the JEthicist, "Some schools in my area try to maintain a student body drawn from the "best" families. Is this an ethical practice?", was entirely correct. A school is a money making device. The Torah requires the father or grandfather to teach his son Torah and pay for if necessary. This means paying tuition and maintaining respect for the authority of the school. The community is not responsible for that burden. There is a minimum the father must teach his son and that is it. Beyond that a person must learn himself and take responsiblity for his own actions and education. Schools today not only teach Torah but also secular studies. Schools, being a business have a right to maintain a certain clientele that fit their agenda. If you don't like it find a different school. Torah must be maintained at the highest level. If you want the name brand or even a better education, if you so believe a particualr school provides so, meet the expectations and requirements. If you can 't, be happy with your lot and strive to be the best you can be. Many people say they don't have money to educate their children or they are upset at the eliteness of a particular school; well then, don't attend that school. A person doesn't have a right to attend "Harvard"; if you make it, good for you. Elite schools give regular students a base to strive to be like the elite. Take that away and we will all be ignoramouses. Don't become communist or socialist when it comes to education. We all know what happened to the USSR.

Simple Pleasures

2005-12-11T13:36:00.000-05:00

I have been tagged by Hoodie to list 5 simple pleasures, so here goes:

1)A heater
2)Crackers and peanut butter
3)A massage
4)A good joke
5)A kiss

Anyone who wishes to be tagged consider themselves touched.

Affirmative Information

2005-12-11T09:23:00.000-05:00

For my English 1 class we has to attend a library workshop to explain to us how to use the library system and how to search for information. What I found facinating and informative about the 50 minute lecture was how it put into perspective Torah learning today. First the professor explained how books are an important resource of information because they transmit previously discovered knowledge from millions of people spanning thousands of years. Instead of reinventing the wheel, it is preferable to read a thesis of what someone else spent years of their life perfecting and build upon that knowledge. He also stressed that searching the library catalog instead of a search engine such as Google would produce better and more reliable information because the articles are subject to peer review. This only bolsters the claim that the blogging world and the internet at large is mostly delusive and useless information. The reason for this is because anyone can write what they want without being held accountible for what they say. It will only get worse as the ease to connect to the internet grows. More people with less intelligence are saying their opinion .This spawns ignorance. The beauty of the Talmud is that it is peer reviewed. Everyone agrees with it. Thousands of Tannaim and Amoraim are quoted. It is not something that has been typed up as an afterthought. This is one reason why literature written by Reform or Conservative rabbis are rejected. They have no substance on which to pass the peer review test. They are constantly making mistakes in basic logic put forth in the Talmud. Whether a concept in Judaism makes sense to you or me is not the point. It must follow the rules of Torah logic. This is a common mistake ignorant people make. Try not to be ignorant; it doesn't serve anyone a great help. Not everything written is true. Take everything as a grain of salt. Read meterial that has a verifiable source. That may even mean not to trust what is written in this blog.

Kosher Erotica?

2005-12-11T08:59:00.000-05:00

Due to negative fan mail I have removed this post.

$$$$$$$$

2005-12-11T08:51:00.000-05:00

The numerical equivalent of "sulam"-ladder, is the same as "mamon"-money. From this we learn that money is like a ladder; we can use it to ascend and draw nearer to heaven or we can degrade ourselves with it. It is only dependent on how we use it and for what purpose it is employed.
(The Baal Shem Tov)

Hint, Hint

2005-12-10T20:19:00.000-05:00

It has been around for a while; the ease of making the engagment ring Diamonds.com; the ease of making invitations Invitations123.com, Poof! A few clicks, enter your credit card, and you have a ready made ring or invitation. But now it it easy for the Kallah as well to buy the watch, chick-chak. Check out the new site at, ChossonWatches.com .

Secularism

2005-12-10T18:37:00.000-05:00

Reading this post by OlehGirl (Feb 7, 2005) conjured a discussion we had in my philosophy class; the old age question, "Why do bad things happen to good people?", and other similar doubts. Our philosophy professor makes it a point not to join sides on any of the issues that are brought up. He explains the two sides of the argument and leaves it at that. I find that any philosophical debate has no ending and a person can believe in whichever way he so desires. One can become a skeptic, one can become an atheist. It is not something one is born as. If one wants to be religious he has that choice. A person has a choice to become secular. Why would someone make such a choice? (Not to say I am above Taivos, but I wouldn't label myself as one who gives into my animalistic desires).

Stubborness

2005-12-09T12:22:00.000-05:00

To be an Ackshan in Hebrew means to be stubborn. One can be stubborn in many situations such as in their religious beliefs, in loving their spouse, in praying to God, or in their studies. It behoves us to understand where this trait is derived from in order to remedy our negative actions. I have been called a donkey several times in my life. I am assuming that it was for a good reason. My favorite word is "No." Without getting too Freudian, I think the reason I enjoy saying no is because it shifts responsibilty to someone else to accomplish what I do not wish to be bothered with. It is much easier for me to reflexively tell someone I am too busy or I do not know how to do a certain task rather than attempt to work out a solution. Or it may be possible I am mentally slow- I do not know. Examples of unmotivation range from: waking up on time for Shachris; coming on time for Seder; not watching movies or TV; calling my mother; and studying for tests. From my vantage point in life it seems that others have it easier to be able to accomplish great things. I do envy those who have made strides in accomplishing great things for humanity. Changing myself into becoming a better person is to begin to change the world; but, wouldn't it be nice if I can come up with some new cure for cancer or some new codification of Tanach?

Intelligence? I.Q.?

2005-12-07T19:55:00.000-05:00

What is intelligence? Funny I am deciding to write about this topic when just last night I was assigned this question by my English professor in college. He assigned us to read a book review that the main thrust of the article was, "Is it time to reevaluate our conception of 'smarts and intelligence' based on pop culture"? His thesis was based on the fact that contemporary TV and video games make people think smarter by making them think and priorities tasks. They require people to think of the plot and they are more intricate and thought provoking than earlier shows. Is intelligence displayed by street smarts? Is someone who is more loquacious and talk philosophy and complex ideas more smart than an uneducated person? Why is intelligence based on what we KNOW rather than how we act? Yaccov is described as Ish Tam, a simple man. Simplicity is sometimes smarter than all the logistical gymnastics that people purport to come up with. Sometime it is only silliness. It depend on the perspective of the viewer and what their likes and dislikes are. Isn't it better to use the soul to pursue something useful? The heart loves to play but the reality is not all that it seems to be. Sometimes it is good to doubt. Descartes did, why shouldn't we?

Thank You Hashem!

2005-12-05T04:20:00.000-05:00

So I have been home, to LA, over the weekend. It was a whirlwind of activities. Good things are happening, B"H, and more soon to follow in the coming months. Blessed is Hashem who answers prayers even to those who don't deserve his goodness, since I sure don't. The message to buckle down and to stop playing games and to become a real man is a hard one to follow; but I must, my future and my life depend on it. Life is not only about pleasure but to grow into a better person and groom my soul into something I can be proud of in Olam Habah. I must set priorities and fulfil my responsibilities. I still act immaturely; but I must become mature. The time has come and I must rise to the challenge. It is time to sit and learn Torah and be studious in my education. The games have ended. Life is about to begin.

I am unhappy :-(

2005-11-30T18:30:00.000-05:00

Why do articles like these:Money,Sex and Happiness ;What makes us happy?;Best Age to Marry make me drool? Why do they ocuppy my conscious? I see a heading and I desire to assimilate the knowledge. Is it useful knowledege? Am I just wasting my time? I don't know. I am torn between knowing the truth and wanting to discover what I don't know.

Insulting Behaviour

2005-11-30T08:59:00.000-05:00

Part of being human is being able to speak and form coherent words from our thoughts. Animals work on impulse and instict, never stopping to think what they are doing or the reason for their behavior. It is so much easier to be able to insult someone without being able to say something intelligent. There is a lack of imagination and creativity when a person insults someone else. I have found myself repeatedly insulting someone very close to me and I don't know how to stop. The insulting words just pop out of my mouth without my knowing. After they have done their damage it is too late to recall them. I have heard of the wise saying, "Think before you speak," but how do I impliment that type of thinking in my life? I don't know that an insult is forming; I don't wish to inflict harm. My creative juices are impeded by insulting thoughts. I lack the creativity to make intelligent conversation. Should I be held accountible because G-d has not given me intelligence? I don't want to place the blame solely on G-d but I am at my wits end on how to make intelligent conversation with close family and friends. Any suggestions?

Feminism

2005-11-26T18:47:00.000-05:00

It seems like everyone is talking about feminism and the role of women in Orthodoxy. I guess it is time to give my take on it. But before I begin, I want to link an article I read about the issue. Ten Curses.
Ok, now for my perspective. As a Yeshiva Bachur and a card carrying member of the Jewish people, I find it hard to understand why some females will have an entire issue with feeling that they are being discriminated by "Orthodoxy." If I were to draw a comparison I would say that I, as an Orthodox Jew, feel discriminated by the Reform or Conservative movement, or even the Chilonim in Israel. They snub their nose at anyone remotely more religious than them and say thankfully to themselves how fortunate they are that they are not Orthodox. I have constantly seen comments by women bloggers and journalists how "Superior" they are over men. I have yet failed to see a woman who does NOT deem herself to be superior over men. Women are egotistical. It is a known biological fact. However, I bear them no grudge. Let them believe they are special. It is an undeniable fact that some people are smarter, prettier, and/or richer than others. It is undeniable that I will never ever become a president and neither with any of my decendants. Do I feel descriminated by the facts of life? NO. Will I ever be a black person? NO. Do I feel bad that I can't apply for affirmative action? NO. And the reason being is because that is a fact of life. Can a person strive to be all they can be in whatever social caste they happen to be in? YES. And they should. However, to make a religion a butt of controversy and personal interpritation while distorting the facts is being unjust to being truthful. Woman have an important and unreplaceable spot in our religion. They are the pillar of a Jewish home. To change your special and select job in a team and to go off on your own agenda hurts it for the entire team. Become a feminist, see if I care, I pity the poor fools.

Jewish Unity

2005-11-26T17:54:00.000-05:00

Recently the Jewish Press printed an article about Djerba, a city in Tunisia. The Hamodia printed an article about several towns in Russia. The gist and the common denominator between the two articles is how the Jewish communites are growing by leaps and bounds. What is amazing is how Jews are still prevalant all over the globe and they are GROWING. We aren't dead yet, no matter how much people try to decimate us. When reading such type of articles I get this feeling of pride and a feeling of connection to those people through our Jewish unity. I am proud that we are represented all over the world. The Torah is what binds us all and that I would feel at home with any Jew; no matter where they are in the world. Mi Ceamecha Yisrael. There is a Sofer in Los Angeles who learned his skill in Djerba, read about it here: Sofer.

Thanksgiving

2005-11-24T18:05:00.000-05:00

I have much to be thankful for. My life has been blessed. I am lucky to be getting an education. I am lucky that I am able to learn in yeshiva. I am lucky my parents are alive. Thank you Hashem.

P.S. Let the sales begin!

Education

2005-11-21T17:36:00.000-05:00

“Whatever be the detail with which you cram your students, the chance of their meeting in after-life exactly that detail is infinitesimal; and if they do meet it, they will probably have forgotten what you taught them about it. The really useful training yields a comprehension of a few general principles with a thorough grounding in the way they apply to a variety of concrete details. In subsequent practice the student will have forgotten your particular details; but will remember by an unconscious common sense how to apply principles to immediate circumstances.”

ALFRED NORTH WHITEHEAD
The Aims of Education and Other Essays

1-877-Rebbetzin

2005-11-20T13:12:00.000-05:00

Many people that are Bal Teshuvah have a complaint when they come to the stage of shiuduchim that there is noone in the Frum community who realizes their plight. They believe they are looked down upon because of their background. They want to get married in the way their friends do in the normal shidduch system, but the "Frummers" don't want to deal with their nonreligious family. Oorah is an organization that understands this and has set up a hot line to deal specifically with these type of cases. They call it "The Rebbetzins." If you are interested in becoming a Rebbetzin, (and they invite men as well), or you are interested in meeting a Rebbetzin, you should call, 1-877-Rebbetzin.

Lights for the Blind

2005-11-19T18:23:00.000-05:00

Chanuka is on the radar scope and it is the time when Torah is spread. There is an organization CSB that has made Torah acsessible to people with disabilites. Watch this video Video Conference given by a blind man, who although is blind is determined to continue to learn the Holy Torah. It should be an inspiration for all of us who have it easy.

Painful Encounters

2005-11-18T12:36:00.000-05:00

Realationships are rewarding and painful. Let me explain. The pain I am refering to is guilt. If someone loves me and I do not care enough to keep my promises, and I continue to not do things that are asked of me as a friend, the little respect that I had earned with that friend is totally lost. Now you may ask why do I do it if I know that it is wrong; and the reason for that is because I can not or will not try to improve myself. My obsessions and passions overcome my reasoning and I am out of control and I do not know how to stop-or maybe I do but I am not willing to.

Did You Know?

2005-11-14T17:27:00.000-05:00

Take the Bible Challenge. See how well you can do.
Bible Quiz

Time is Running Out

2005-11-14T09:27:00.000-05:00

Based on this article I estimate the one year period to make a Shidduch for a Baltimore girl is running out. If you plan on making one, I suggest you do it soon to collect an easy $2,000.

The initial introduction of the couple (i.e., the first meeting of the couple) must not have been made prior to the starting date of this program, the first night of Chanukah, 5765 (December 7, 2004).

“Although Star-K is initially funding this program for a one year period, we hope that it will be successful and that we will have the funding to continue,” says Dr. Pollak. “We also hope that Star-K will serve as an inspiration for organizations or individuals in other “out-of-town” communities to launch similar programs.”

Guidelines

Mad at me, for what?

2005-11-12T23:48:00.000-05:00

Why is it when a girl gets mad she decides to give the silent treatment? It is very rude. It wasn't meant to hurt her, so why did she take it that way?

Speak to your future self

2005-11-09T22:28:00.000-05:00

Email delivery date: 2025 (yes, 2025).
Want to talk to yourself in the future? It¿s easy. Just make your own Email Time Capsule and Yahoo! Mail will work with our friends at Forbes.com to deliver it in 20 years.

What am I missing?

2005-11-09T10:03:00.000-05:00

I was reading the JPost and came across an article describing the unsatisfaction Israelis are having in their sex life (Unsatisfied). An excerpt from the atricle:
"For those concerned about their degree of sexual experience, it may be useful to know that the average number of partners reported worldwide is nine. Here too, gender plays an important role: Men reported an average of 10.2 partners, while women reported a 6.9 average. Israelis are slightly above the average, with a reported average of 10.6 partners."
I started to think. I will God willing only get married once to one partner and have sex with only one person. What am I missing by not having the world average of having sex with another 9.6 partners? Should I feel dissapointed? Is it better I am intimate with only one person instead of being intimate with another 9.6? I think it is my Yetzer Harah that is barking.

Mute

2005-11-09T00:17:00.000-05:00

In English class the Professor asked, "Why do teenage Orthodox girls rebel?" He explained that he sees many Orthodox girls in his class carry a grudge aginst Judaism. He asked if it is because we supress the outside culture too much and that causes them to seek outside influences and role models. What could the community do to keep them from experimenting and seeking ways that are contrary to the mores of the community? What if it were my daughter who was disobeying and testing the limits of Judaisim, what measures would I take?

I was stumped.

This is Humorous

2005-11-08T14:47:00.000-05:00

By RANDOLPH E. SCHMID, AP Science Writer Tue Nov 8,11:11 AM ET
WASHINGTON - The difference between the sexes has long been a rich source of humor. Now it turns out, humor is one of the differences.
Women seem more likely than men to enjoy a good joke, mainly because they don't always expect it to be funny.
"The long trip to Mars or Venus is hardly necessary to see that men and women often perceive the world differently," a research team led by Dr. Allan L. Reiss of the Stanford University School of Medicine reports in Tuesday's issue of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.
But they were surprised when their studies of how the male and female brains react to humor showed that women were more analytical in their response, and felt more pleasure when they decided something really was funny.
"Women appeared to have less expectation of a reward, which in this case was the punch line of the cartoon," said Reiss. "So when they got to the joke's punch line, they were more pleased about it."
Women were subjecting humor to more analysis with the aim of determining if it was indeed funny, Reiss said in a telephone interview.
Men are using the same network in the brain, but less so, he said, men are less discriminating.
"It doesn't take a lot of analytical machinery to think someone getting poked in the eye is funny," he commented when asked about humor like the Three Stooges.
While there is a lot of overlap between how men and women process humor, the differences can help account for the fact that men gravitate more to one-liners and slapstick while women tend to use humor more in narrative form and stories, Reiss said.
The funnier the cartoon the more the reward center in the women's brain responded, unlike men who seemed to expect the cartoons to be funny from the beginning, the researchers said.
The new insight could improve understanding of such conditions as depression, the researchers said.
"The bottom line is that I think it contributes to the foundation of understanding individual differences in humans," Reiss said. Humor is used by humans to cope with stress and to establish relationships, and it can even help strengthen the immune system.
Reiss' team studied the response of 10 women and 10 men to 70 black-and-while cartoons, asking them to rate the jokes for how funny they were. While the volunteers were looking at the cartoons their brains were being studied with an MRI to determine what parts of the brains were responding.
In large part, men and women had similar responses to humor, using parts of the brain responsible for the structure and context of language and for understanding juxtaposition.
In women, however, some areas were more active than in men. These included the left prefrontal cortex, which the researchers said suggests a greater emphasis on language and executive processing, and the nucleus accumbens, or NAcc, which is part of the reward center.
Reiss said he was surprised at the NAcc finding. The researchers theorized that because women were being more analytical they weren't necessarily expecting the cartoons to be as funny as did the men.
Then, when they saw the punch line, the reward center lit up, indicating something pleasant and unexpected.
Arnie Cann, a psychology professor at the University of North Carolina, Charlotte, commented: "Given the findings in the current study, that women appear to use more executive functions, it could be that they are more engaged in scrutinizing the humor to decide if it fits their views on what is acceptable humor. Once they decide the humor is OK, they could be experiencing a relief-like response."
That would fit in with the finding that women experience more reward from the joke, said Cann, who was not part of Reiss' research team.
Reiss' research was funded by the National Institutes of Health.

The Real Reason

2005-11-08T13:34:00.000-05:00

Question: Why was Yaacov hit on his thigh by the Malach of Eisav, why didn't he touch him on his arm or face?

Answer: Because that is where the Cellphone is kept.

Boro Park and Gerrer Chassidim

2005-11-05T19:24:00.000-05:00

I have just returned from a awe-inspiring Shabbos in Boro Park. I stayed by a Gerrer Chasid who I met while taking classes at COPE. He is an amazing person with excellent character traits and a great sense of humor. I admire him tremendously. He is currently in college and going for his CPA. He has cute kids and has a nice family. I aspire to be like him. Davening in the Gerrer shteble, one sees a world with educated people in both Torah and worldly matters. They are doctors, lawyers, accountants and business people. The community is friendly and open. They have beautiful minhagim and songs. It is inspiring to experience a shabbos there. The quality of life that the chasidim have is above and beyond what you see portrayed on television and read in books depicting the non religious/secular world. Most of the secular world is plagued by disfunctional families and boredom. They walk around aimlessly with no purpose to life. These people walk around with every minute of their lives accounted for. They value family and good deeds. They are educated in every science and art. Their wives are pretty. Their children are cute. What more can a person want out of life? Although I don't believe I will become a Gerrer Chasid, I am happy I have been privileged and have seen a peek into their world and experienced a taste of a Gerrer Shabbos.

Final Essay

2005-11-03T14:03:00.000-05:00

Please write an essay of approximately 500 words about yourself. You
may include your personal history and describe the influences on your
intellectual development. You may also write about what you wish to
accomplish at Brooklyn College, and your special interests, abilities, career
plans, and life goals. The essay should not repeat facts already listed
on the application. The statement should be typed, double spaced.
Please make sure that your name, Social Security number, telephone number,
and 'New Transfer Undergraduate' are at the top of each page.

     Diligently, I studied the application; the empty spaces where the name and information to be filled brought feelings of apprehension in my heart. A jumbling of thoughts skittered through my consciousness as the realization of the implication of filling out the application entailed sunk in. A life lived for other's is a life worth living; Einstein. Applying to Brooklyn College was my way of expressing a desire to create for myself a life that would be productive and independent. Education, I felt, was the way to a better life: one that would be shared with others who I touched and would become touched through our diverse cultures in my search for meaning and growth. While growing up and attending to a private Jewish day school, I did not have much contact with other cultures. The insular environment provided me with a strong background in Judaic matters such as the Bible and Talmud, an encyclopedic work of Jewish Law, but left me socially deficient and inadequate to deal with the diverse cultural world outside the four wall of the Yeshiva (Hebrew for school). My first class in Brooklyn College was Core 10, Philosophy. Entering a class with tens of multi-ethnic students of all ages and appearances, I felt a feeling of wonderment and vertigo. Feeling shy, I sat by the farthest seat in the class not knowing how to act or where to begin to interact with my new classmates. Staring down, I avoided looking at anyone who remotely looked different than me. Realizing that this mode of behavior was not going to make me friendly to anyone, I turned to the person next to me, who turned out to be a recent immigrant from Jamaica, and stammered out a barely audible hello. I had to repeat it again, until he finally noticed someone was talking to him, and then as normal as can be he returned my salutation. I was so surprised; I almost fell out of my chair. Mentally balancing myself, I introduced myself and told him I was new to the school and asked him for his name.  Ever so politely he told me; that started the beginning of a friendship that continued throughout the semester. I was now officially broken in: the ice was melting and the warmth I felt was indescribable.
     The feeling followed me into all my classes. People respected me for who I was and what I represented religiously. I was not subject to degradation. Teachers and fellow students expressed an interest in getting to understand my perspective and esoteric way of life. I began to open up and become friendly with many people, who before my entrance to college, I wouldn't have given a second glance on the street. My development into coming to terms with my phobia of strangers weakened and waned as the weeks flew by. My proliferation of friendships solidified that I was progressing into becoming a better, more sociable person. I became happy when I realized that I was learning and growing.
     The other advancements that I made in college, due in part to a dedicated professor, was to realize that I enjoyed Accounting. The opportunities and benefits that were touted by the Wall Street Journal: the accounting profession was experiencing unprecedented job vacancies and was to grow by a large percentage, sweetened the notion of becoming a Certified Public Accountant. I made it a personal goal of mine to begin a career in the financial arts. As a young boy I was always put in charge as the class treasurer to collect and tally up the money when we went on a class trip. I was always meticulous to count every last penny and mark the final amount on a piece of paper. Dedicated to being honest and responsible, I set my heart on guarding the money with my life. From the steps of the school, until we reached the final destination, my two "bodyguards", muscular classmates who I appointed to the right and left of me, protected me and made sure we were not accosted by any of the possible bandits who would dare to dream of robbing the class's money. Ingrained in me was this feeling that money and I shared a destiny. Little did I know how true it would be when I decided to Major in Accounting. I decided I would join the honorable profession of people dedicated to making the financial community a safer and less corruptible place. I would direct my analytical abilities -gleaned and honed by the study of the Talmud- to good use, by analyzing transactions in corporations and deciding the proper way to account the proper underlying economic reality into the accounting equation. My dream of becoming the CFO of a major company begins with my Accounting 1 class at Brooklyn College. My aspirations to succeed are strong. Life is based on priorities. My priorities are to be the best student I can be at the school that makes it possible. Brooklyn College. My life is open before me and my passion and dedication to increase the quality of my life and those of others will be in my mind: as I start on the lowest rung of the ladder, and climb to the top.

The Aplogy

2005-10-31T11:00:00.000-05:00

A sentence that I find meaningful; I wish I took it to heart.

Absence might make the heart grow fonder, but abstinence makes the mind grow stronger.

Silent Gratitude

2005-10-29T21:10:00.000-04:00

Baruch Hashem. A few words that contain so much meaning. I may not always be able to convey my feelings of Jewish pride and gratitude to God in as many words as available to me in the world of language. Reading the words of others invoke inside of me thoughts, feelings and emotions that are undescribable. God's world is vast and deep. The ideas and concepts contained in his creation are so special that it is our obligation to thank him for creating the ability to appreciate them. God could have created a drab world where we all thought and looked identical. We could have been created as angles without free will or special talents. Words evade me. I am dumb-struck.

Jokes

2005-10-28T13:20:00.000-04:00

Adam's Rib

God creates Adam, and soon Adam is complaining that he's all alone in the Garden of Eden. So God says, "Okay, I'll make you a companion, a beautiful creature who'll cook and clean for you. It will be able to converse intelligently on any subject, and never ever complain or argue."

Adam says, "That sounds great."

God says, "The only thing is, it will cost you an arm and a leg."

Adam says, "That's expensive!! What can I get for a rib?"

Everything I Needed to Know I Learned From Noah's Ark

Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.
Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone might ask you to do something REALLY big
Don't listen to critics -- do what has to be done.
Build on high ground.
For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
Two heads are better than one.
Speed isn't always an advantage. The cheetahs were on board, but so were the snails.
If you can't fight or flee -- float!
Take care of your animals as if they were the last ones on earth.
Don't forget that we're all in the same boat.
When the doo-doo gets really deep, don't sit there and complain -- shovel!!!
Stay below deck during the storm.
Remember that the ark was built by amateurs and the Titanic was built by professionals.
If you have to start over, have a friend by your side.
Remember that the woodpeckers INSIDE are often a bigger threat than the storm outside.
Don't miss the boat.
No matter how bleak it looks, there's always a rainbow on the other side.

Da'as Torah

2005-10-23T11:41:00.000-04:00

There is a new book out by Daniel Eidensohn titled, The Jewish Source book: Daas Torah, it is worthwhile to read. It is a compilation of Theological topics with sources from Daas Torah. In the introduction he quotes how Rav Elyashiv gave permission to write such a source book as long as he did not add any of his own opinions. I would recommend it for anyone who wishes to grasp a deeper understanding and clarity of what Daas Torah is.

Post- Yom Kippur Musing

2005-10-19T20:09:00.000-04:00

B"h, due to a certain special person, I have been working on my middos of Taivah. 'Nough said. I happened to to do this thing mentioned on Malka's (who seems to have disappeared) and it is a sentence which is really a motto of mine, and that I believe strongly in. I heard the thought on a tape from Rabbi Shimshon Pincus and it is something that my College teacher recently asked us to write an essay on. (Not exactly what he had in mind when he asked a specific question, but college professors hate anything Jewish, we all know that.)

Here are the rules:
.1. Delve into your blog archive.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
My 5th sentence from my 23 post is:

Those child stories have perverted my mind beyond repair :( .

The Jewish People Forever

2005-10-19T19:49:00.000-04:00

Sukkah Story

Must see!

2005-10-16T00:32:00.000-04:00

Must see Videos
Shidduch
Lavon

New!
Bud
Purim Play
The Search
The Rebbe

In time for Simchas Torah!
Skverrer Rebbe
Skverrer Rebbe 2

Hurt: "to write is to plumb the unfathomable depths of being. "Writing lies within the domain of mystery. "The space between any two words "is vaster than the space between Heaven and Hell. "To bridge it, you must close your eyes and leap. "A hasidic tradition tells us "that in the torah the white spaces, too, are God-given. -Eli Wiesel

Chag Sama'ach!

2005-10-15T20:14:00.000-04:00

Sukkah

Building the Clouds of Glory

2005-10-15T19:57:00.000-04:00

Gut Voch. It has been such a pleasant month. The Chagim have really set the mood to becoming more spiritually inclined and a feeling of optimism has decended on me. I am greatful to Hashem that he has sent me a light to guide me, to help me with my difficulties, to challenge me to grow, and that special person is very special to me. I have been seeing so many new Sefarim coming out and I yearn to read them all. Unfortunatally due to the lack of money, or Jewish libraries to borrow from, I am not getting up to date with all the new delectible books that are out there. They are printing them faster than I can get my hands on them.
B"h I am still "learning" (missing a few here and there, but what can I do, time flies) the Daf. They are up to Eruvin. It is mindboggling the amount of new "picture sefarim" that have come out. Where were they when I was younger and had the time to learn??! Even with them it is very complex, foreign and complicated concepts.
Which reminds me, I heard a frum mathematitian won the Nobel Peace Prize and used the "game theory" to explain a Mishna in Kesubos. What a Kiddush Hashem!
I also was zoche, after a prolonged setback, to send the Sefer Torah I was working on to Eretz Yisroel, at least it is there and being evaluated. Now all I need is the donor to cough up the $6,000 dollars he promised so the ball can get rolling!
I also bought my first pair of contact lens. Yay! Watch out girls, I am really handsome now! ("R"-if you are reading this, it is only a joke, I only have eyes for you).
Have a Chag Kasher Vesameach.

Happy- Go -Lucky

2005-10-10T23:04:00.000-04:00

Why is it on Rosh Hashana the first thoughts of our prayers are directed to ask Hashem for money? "Please", we beg, "Just give us that high paying job so I can buy myself a pedicure, manicure, or new car. I will be forever greatful".
Which brings me to the question, which spouse is the cause for most of the financial problems in a marriage? Are the women the instigators or do the men, with their vices for fine wine and poker, bring upon the house a dark gloom?
Be what may, may God grant us this coming year HAPPINESS as well as the means to satisfy the tax collectors and the school tuition. Remember, as hard as it may be, to believe- that money isn't everything.

2005-10-10T23:01:00.001-04:00

Praying for the Bundle of Joy

2005-10-10T23:01:00.000-04:00

Cash on Demand

Intimacy

2005-10-08T20:00:00.000-04:00

This shabbos was really a spiritual one. The Shabbos Teshuvah Drasha really echoed a taste of something that trancended the physical. Topics that were brought up dealt with proper parenting and a love for the truth. Romantic goals are imaginative and fake. Real love comes through hard work and trust. Yom Kippur is a time to return to Hashem and really desire to bring him into our lives. Have an easy fast.

Rosh Hashana 5766

2005-10-02T23:52:00.000-04:00

Kesivah Vechasima Tovah.

May everyone have their wishes filled this coming year.

Will it come?

2005-09-30T09:03:00.000-04:00

Last week I was walking home from the date and I was standing in the subway and this man walked over to me and asked me if the "Q" train was on this track. I told him, "yes, it is." He then proceeded to tell me in English how he is from Israel and droned on about something I didn't pay much attention to. Then the "N" train came, he started to go into the train but I knew he wanted the "Q" so I tapped him on the shoulder and told him it was the wrong train. He got off and then when the "Q" came to the station we got on together. We sat next to each other and he started telling me how he was getting money from Bank Leumi in Manhattan, but his ATM card expired and he need to buy kidney medicine for his sick son, and his wife and daughter were waitng by the pharmacy in Queens, and they were leaving that night and all the banks were close, and asked me as a Jew if I could lend him money and he would pay it back. I was skeptical, because I really don't have money to lend, and I didn't fully trust him, but some how, after telling me it was right before Rosh Hashana and, we are all Jews and he would do the same for me if I was in his situation, he got me to withdrawl $140+1.50 fee + 2.00 for subway ticket=$143.50 and promised to send me direct and money order from the airport. I am still waiting for it to come. This was two weeks ago.

Happy B-Day

2005-09-30T01:00:00.000-04:00

Happy B-day to me :-)

The E-mail

2005-09-28T17:46:00.000-04:00

I'm sorry I waited until the last minute to get back to you. I wanted to wait to think about things and to receive eitzah from people who I trust. After this thinking and eitzah I wanted to get back to you to let you know that I don't feel that this is shayich for me. Thanks so much for everything. I want to wish you hatzlacha in the future and in finding the right person for you.

Kesiva Vechasima Tova,

Uncertainty

2005-09-25T19:56:00.000-04:00

Sunday:

The date began calmly enough. We met in Manhattan and I (and that was as far as my knowledge went) was happy to see her, and heaved an internal sigh of relief that she didn't grow uglier over the last few days. You understand, I'm sure it has happened to you, that you went on a border line date that something bothered you and the next time you met the problem was still there and didn't magically disappear. Topically, there was no immediate danger of feelings of compromising on anything. I smiled to her, she smiled back, and the conversation began in ernest. During the meal conversation flowed, she doing most of the talking, but it was what I liked, hearing new opinions, novel ideas, she was quite interesting to listen to. Her voice is quite mesmerizing. Of course by now I have learned that girls take ages to make decisions about if they feel it is the right one. Their emotional stablity is precarious and it is best not to tip it off. So suggestions or any indication of moving to the next step until they are ahead of you is not advisable. Sometimes there is a slip up but I hope I correct it before it does much damage. As every girl, she knows millions of people with broken engagments and divorces and it is best not to rush into such an important thing as marriage. Feeling as I was that she had potential but her speaking of not knowing if I had potential made me nervous, but I understand where she is coming from and agreed. There is nothing to rush. When she told me, (after paying $40 dollars for a meal she didn't even eat from, at least she took it in a doggy bag) that she dated another guy for a month and then said no to him, my stomach started to flutter. Is all the money I would spend on all those dates going down the trash? Well, what can I do if G-d wants that it should happen it will and there is no arguing. We walked around a bit more, talking about how many dates until engagment, and what should you feel when you know or when should you turn it down. Looking back, it was a painful discussion because it was just talk and it felt more like a mussur seder than a fun date. She was talking how to be cautious about a marriage partner and here I was trying to decide if she was good for me. Well it was an intensive lesson. I was mad tired when I got home. Before I got on the subway, I din't know how to bring up the question if she wanted to go on another date. I need time to think, but it was something that I couldn't say no upfront, so generally I say yes even if I feel something bothers me. This time I it was a lesser twing than in the past. I suggested maybe she would want to go throught the shaddchan on sawyouastsinai, but she didn't give a dirrect response and asked me if she could have time to think about it and then she would e-mail me with a yes or no. I got on the train and headed home. If it will be a yes or no, only g-d knows. I am just soooooo worn out I don't know what to make of it.

Blog in Book Form

2005-09-23T15:11:00.000-04:00

Hakirah

Broken?

2005-09-22T00:01:00.000-04:00

Religion. Hashkafa. Perspective. All very powerful words. Will it make it or break it? I found out that the mother of the girl I am dating does not cover her hair. Should that be a break it issue?

Update: I asked my Rabbi if it should be an issue and he said that if everything else looks ok and the parents are honest people then it should not be an issue. Now, how do I find out if they are honest people?

New Beginnings

2005-09-19T13:55:00.000-04:00

I have dated this awesome girl. Great middos and a bren for Torah-cute too. Her smile can light up any dark room. Now, it is a matter of playing the game right. The trick is not to seem too desperate and needy. Not to call her up whenever I think about her. Think of ways to make her like me. I must say intelligent things and not make a fool of myself. The dating game must play itself out until it becomes second nature and habit that my giving turns into a love. I hope she will reciprocate and not leave me disappointed and a broken soul as so many others have done.

The War of Wills

2005-09-17T20:44:00.000-04:00

It has been a while since I have posted. I suppose that is a good thing in some respects. It means that I have not had much time to waste on the computer. To those of you who still check back to see if I have posted anything new, I feel honored and special that you think I have something important that you can learn from, or for that matter, entertaining. My days have been spent learning in the mornings and listening to lectures in college and experiencing being in the outside world. As my chavrusa said, "College is a mussar seder". College gives me a base where I can appreciate the Torah and my Jewishness. I am not part of a melting pot. I am constantly part of a culture that values life and change for the better. I am proud to be a Jew and learning the Jewish religion. Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, is almost upon us. It is a time of reflection and growth. It is a time to start afresh and anew. Repentance is a gift from G-d. Life is enjoyable and one must will his Yetzer Harah to undertand that there is great reward for someone who is willing to work.

The List

2005-09-10T21:11:00.000-04:00

I am a bit upset now. Motzei Shabbos I recieved a letter from HESC, the higher education sevice corperation. They denied my application for scholarship based on the fact that I am a dependant of my parents who don't live in NY. Never mind the fact I have been "renting/living/dorming" in NY for over a year. Why shouldn't I be considered an independant? Because I am claimed as a dependant?!
Which brings me to a different, but not a totally unrelated issue, about the clash between independence and authority. I was required to cut into second seder twice a week to take a class in college and my Rosh Yeshivah had a cow. He told me afterward, he debated throwing me out of yeshivah. I don't disagree with him on the issue. Yeshivah is meant to be a place to gt away from the shmutz of the world-but where do I fit in? I am beholdent to the culture I am brought up in, at the same time to face the crazy world we live in with all its hardships. Why couldn't there be a miracle that my application should have been accepted. I wouldn't have minded not worrying from where and how I am going to pay for college. Well, just another headache that I need to pray to G-d to resolve for me on Rosh Hashana. He sure likes a long list.

A Hard Earned Lesson

2005-09-07T13:48:00.000-04:00

Philosophy is not Torah.

Why did I have to make conversation with the philosophy professor? I knew it would lead nowhere, as it did.

Good thing I had a dear friend show me the right path.

My two worlds are at edges with each other, but they keep trying to conquer and assimilate. I need a clear defining line.

Toke'a B'Shofar Gadol

2005-09-05T02:22:00.000-04:00

Av = Elul Bah

2005-09-02T16:25:00.000-04:00

Elul is on its way. Good Shabbos.

The Theoretical Post

2005-08-30T23:37:00.000-04:00

Yes, so today I had my first philosophy course. What a waste. The professor even admitted it was useless. I couldn't even argue with him. Is this what college is all about? Being part of a group that is inconsistent with what I believe to be ideal? Or should I take the good and spit out the pits? Why are there so many whys? And for that matter why do I want to know why?

I hate college.

Which brings me to English Comp 1.

It is all a matter of perspective. Not grammar.

How dumb.

I am feeling smarter all ready.

Yay!

P.s. Does it get any better? Can it? Sigh.

For good or for bad?

2005-08-29T18:04:00.000-04:00

The place where I never imagined I would want be, but ended up in my imagination. Why?

Satisfaction

2005-08-25T16:58:00.000-04:00

Beauty

2005-08-25T16:53:00.000-04:00

.........

2005-08-21T15:40:00.000-04:00

The Claim to Fame

2005-08-21T09:23:00.000-04:00

Those girls that have good middos and want to be great wives to their husbands have an upper hand over those girls who are just looking to have a good time in this world. In the Jewish world, good deeds are looked upon more favorably than meterial assets. That is what makes the Jewish people special.

This is a given.

From my last post it might have been construed that looks are what is important to me. That is not true. Looks are just my perception of light filtering through my eye lens. If I close my eyes then that sensation dissapears. The Yeter Harah wishes to wring out every last drop of kedusha from a person. Looks are a gift from Hashem. They are meant to be used properly, like any gift, such as money, lineage, health ect. Like everything in Judaism, we must uncover the the beauty. If it seems obvious then it is probably sheker. Like a dimond in the rough, truth must be polished. Sheker is glamourous. It shines, it sparkles, it grabs the eye. After a few moments, though, it looses its luster.

A true Bas Yisroel is coveted for her middos and her love of Hashem and Torah. The joy that radiates from her face is what will make her beautiful to any man. She is praised.

Looks are Everything?

2005-08-20T23:32:00.000-04:00

Happy Tu'BeAv. How can I not mention this romantic holiday. Thank G-d I am dating and have no need to go searching for parties to crash. I think I am beginning to understand the saying of Chazal, Pas Besalo, bread in the basket. When a man has a wife he doesn't think about doing promiscuous things. He is content with what he has because he know he can get it when ever he needs it. He is not looking around. I have been thinking long and hard about the philosophy of "looks" and what makes men attracted to good looking women. I still have not managed to come to a satisfactory understanding. Plain and simple, good looking women are sexy. They hold a better promise for pleasure. No logical argument can overturn a lustful feeling. It is a phenominon that is mysterious and uncomprehensible. Good looking people, statistically, are richer, happier, and smarter than the average yukel. I wonder if beautiful people realize they are beautiful. Any gorgeous looking girls out there? Do you know if you are gorgeous and that men want your beauty, and do you use it for your advantage to flirt and get what you want? Do you flaunt your beauty or do you try to hide it? Do you think you are better at pleasuring a men because of your "assets"? Do you expect more from men finanically, emotionally, ect. because you were given the gift of beauty from G-d? I would love to hear your opinions.

Ten rules for a successful marriage

2005-08-18T09:29:00.000-04:00

Last night I attended a shiur by R' Pliskin, author of many books. He handed out a sheet from his book Gateway to Happiness.

Ten rules for a Successful Marriage

1) Keep your main focus on "giving" rather than "taking". When your goal is to give your partner pleasure, you will always find opportunities to meet your goal. As a byproduct you too will gain since people tend to reciprocate positive behavior.

2)Be careful to remain silent when your spouse insults you. By ignoring slights and insults you will prevent many needles quarrels. The momentary unpleasantness will quickly pass.

3)Give up unrealistic expectations. People come into marriage with many expectations which are not consciously expressed. By giving up unrealsitic expectations you will prevent frustration and anger. Don't expect your spouse to be perfect and don't make comparisons.

4)Avoid labeling those things which are not to your likeing as awful. Try to find a positive perspective to things.

5)Think of plans on how to motivate your spouse to want to do what you want him or her to do. If your first strategy is not effective, keep trying different stratagies. Remember that tactful praise is a powerful motivator.

6)Realize that the meaning of your communication is the respose you actually get. Clarify your goals. If your method of communication is not achieving your goal, change your approach. By keeping your eyes on your main goal, which is to have a happy marriage, you will not become sidetracked.

7)Be willing to compromise. Be willing to do something you would rather not do in return for similar behavior from your spouse.

8)Don't blame or condemn your spouse for mistakes. Plan on the best method to prevent the mistaes from reoccuring without arousing resentment or hurting your spouse's feelings.

9)Live in the present. Whatever went wrong in the past is over. Focus on improving the situation in the present.

10)Keep asking yourself: "What can I do to have a happy atmosphere in the house?"

The Ulitimate Bond

2005-08-17T18:12:00.000-04:00

Wow! I have just read the post on Jewish Issues Cheating Spouses with all 74 comments, lol. Seems like Aaron opened a large can of worms. I would like to write down some of my thoughts that came up while reading it. The issues of cheating on a spouse or on a marriage or any relationship, as most things, are relative to the people involved and their perspectives they are looking from. Having started a new "relationship" with a girl recently I think I can sort of relate to the feelings at hand. This is my take on the issue. It has been bothering me, with my habit to look at porn and chatting, to feel that I am sort of cheating on my new relationship. What are the guidelines? How long is innaporriate to look at a passing girl? What skirt length is considered tznius to look at and what is deriving enjoyment that is assur? The face is mutur to talk too, but how long the conversation? When I start feeling an erection? When I lean closer to see the perfect face? Can I brush my hands with the cashier girl? It was only for a second and she didn't even notice. Can I chat with an unmarried girl if I am married to "help" her be happy? Can I leave a message on a blog which belongs to a member of the opposite sex? E-mail? I had a teacher who told me the "look but don't touch rule". He unforutnitally was Jewish. The funny thing was, I actually had a crush on his daughter. She was very cute. After seeing so many naked women, will seeing another hurt my realtionship more? Will I actually burn more in Hell? I feel I've seen every possible lewd act that is out there. Can I now go and work in a Seminary? As an Ob/Gyn? As far as I know, the issur of shemiras eyayim applys to everyone no matter how old. A married friend told me he thinks it is posible that if I don't see any girls for a year I will love the ugliest girl. It is possible to stock up on sexual enjoyment and share it with the right person. Is looking at other women besides my wife, who is not beautiful, causing me to not appreciate her, or what's the difference, she is ugly anyway. I think it all depends on attitude. A marriage is something to be built up. Sexual frustrations should be spoken out to a spouse. There should not be anything hidden when it comes to sex. I even think Halacha will agree with me. The gemara says a man should try to convince his wife to have relations with him, never to do it by force. He should appease her in any way. He should talk with her for as long as possible until she is ready, and she should be pleasured first. Respect is the key. The Tanna who hid under the bed of his Rebbi to see how to act during relations heard him speak with his wife for a long time about things he normally wouldn't speak about and that would be considered narishkeit. Communication is immparative, esspecially regarding a physical realtionship. A man should tell his wife what he wants and a woman should speak up as well to say what she doesn't want. I think that is all part of a healthy relationship. If someone think that they can't get something they want from marriage, let us say his wife is a niddah, or is not attractive enough, or is too demanding, it pays to try to work it out. Happiness comes from within. Not only with money, but even sexual gratification. It is not easy. Nothing important is. Aizehu Ashier? Hasameach Bechelko. When a man and woman stand under the canopy it is a promise to communicate and accept the jewel that Hashem has given, the good and the bad. The trick is, get the best one before you give the ring.

Sensitivity in Speech

2005-08-14T19:16:00.000-04:00

This afternoon I attended the annual Chofetz Chaim Heritage Video. Rabbi Raymond Beyda and Rabbi Yissachor Frand spoke about Ona'as devarim, hurtful words. R' Beyda spoke about how to use word to build up people and to inspire people and mentioned a story of a 19 year old girl who was a councelor in camp and was thrown out of a moving bus. During the shiva the mother was unconsoled. She was so upset how such a thing could happen to her obediant and helpful daughter. Until a woman came and told her she had a dream of a very holy neshama that was showed all a beautiful mansion that was to be her reward, but there was one room that was locked. She asked why was it locked? The angel answered that it was reward for Kibud Av Ve'em, but since she was an orphan it was closed to her. She begged to go back down to earth and to be able to earn her reward. She was sent down for a short time 19 years. This woman turned to the mother and said this holy neshama is your daughter, and she had completed her mission and now she is reaping her reward. We can see how words can heal and raise broken spirits.
Rabbi Frand also mentioned a story of a big tzadik who signed his name with the term "Laluvas" the humble one, becasue his mother who ws wrongly accused of improper conduct couldn't get a good shidduch, so she davened to hashem that her children should be tzadikim and she invoked the pasuk, the humble spirit. the neshama is as sensitive as the eye. The eye get sensitive even by a particle of dust. So too the neshama.
May Hashem rebuild the temple in our day in the merit of speaking wisely and not hurting another person.

Tisha B'Av 5765

2005-08-14T19:14:00.000-04:00

As of midnight: Gaza, West Bank crossings shut down

Israel shut the gates to the Gaza Strip at midnight on Sunday, at the beginning of the end of a 38-year presence.

Implementing the government's disengagement plan, the army was poised to fan out across the settlements during Monday, handing out eviction orders to about half of the settlers who have so far refused to leave. On Wednesday, the physical evacuation will begin, with settlers forcibly removed from their homes if necessary.

All day Sunday, trucks and cars hauling trailers filled with possessions rumbled out of the Strip as settler families left.

Grrrrrrr

2005-08-11T17:40:00.000-04:00

I am not usually one to bash any segment of Jews. I love Jews and I am proud to be called a Jew. However, while reading this article I came across a statement that infuriated me. I am personally not intimidated by any sect of Judaism, be it Ashkenazic,Chasiddish, Litvish, or Sephradic, since I have in my family geneology someone from every sect of Judaism. I think that is why it infuriates me the most to read that a school could call themselves "exclusive" for any sect of Jew. I personally hold the administation as Koffrim and not part of Klal Yisrael. Not that I can do anything about it, and not that my opinion matters much to these people, but deep down I know I am right and I have the self esteem to look at them with pity. They might be doing an important job in teaching Torah, but at the end they are worthless pieces of junk. I know that it is not too eloquent but my anger is preventing me from thinking lucidly.

Haaretz Article

"The answer for many of the schools has been to become even more selective. Dozens of prospective high school students, boys and girls, have been left stranded, without a school this year, and even gentile real estate agents have begun warning house-hunters that they'd better line up a school for their children before they buy in the community. And some of the prejudices that have haunted the Israeli Haredi world are finally hitting Lakewood - one prominent high school for girls which for years admitted students of Mizrahi (Middle Eastern) origin has now changed its policy and announced it will admit only Ashkenazim."

Under the Covers

2005-08-11T17:04:00.000-04:00

Today, my camp went bowling. I still am marveling at how kids act. From a grown-ups view (yes, I consider myself a grown-up relatively to these kids :) ), these minors are irresponsible and immature and need to be taught the rules of life. However after observing these children for a while, you can see they are not so dumb after all. For example, one kid is chasing another and exchanging blows. I pulled them apart and ask why are you fighting. Each one says the other hit them. I then asked each kid to explain what happened. Inevitably, it turns out one kid says he hurt the other by mistake but before he had a chance to "appologize" (as if he were), the other hit him first, so he needs to get back at him.

Life is not fair.

We all know that concept. How does learning that concept help us to become better people? Why do we feel better when we look at thing positively and not negatively? What is the message G-d is trying to send us? I find myself becoming more and more beweildered at this world that we live in. Nothing is black and white, nothing is understandable. Science doesn't offer a reason for things. It is clear facts. Where should I turn for the answers and reasons to the contradicting facts I see? I am confused.

Complying with the Law

2005-08-10T08:56:00.000-04:00

last night I attended a symposium in Boro Park that delt with Complying with the law. They started this gathering last year and it was a huge success. I heard the tape last year and it was amazing. The line up of speakers was some very prominent people. Rabbi Aaron Twerski, Dean and Professor of Law, Hofstra University was chairman. He spoke about the importance of seat belts, complying with health laws, buying life insurance, and general attitute of compliance. Rabbi zev Chohen, Rosh Beis Din in Chicago, discussed the halacha aspects of stealing from a goy which is ossur midieorisa, if someone steals, even from a goy, he is a kofer and posul for adus in a kedushin,he discussed molestation, and how social workers need to be careful about what they can say to the social services, and being a moser, an informer. The laws are very intracate and complex. He said over a story how someone was called by the FBI to give up records that might implicate another Jew, and when he asked Rav Shwab the question if it is moser, he mentioned the word a frum jew owning a cash business who was being implicated. Rav Schwab asked him to repeat the question. He did. Finally Rav Schab told him don't say he is Frum. He is not. If he is causing pain to someone else. Another story of how one Jew hired another and then that Jew dissapeared and then it was found out he stole some very valuable secrets, and the boss wanted him to give information and the psak was he is allowed to tell because he is a rodef. He makes every Jew look bad. He also metioned the question about driving a rented car even for half a block if you are not in the contract. he also mentioned the grave sin of going to a non-jewish court because "you can get a better deal".
The next speaker was Rav Nachum Laskin, Chaplin of the Federal Bureau of Prisons, and he said how bad it is in prison and how families are distroyed and the children have no father and the wife is a living widow. He explained how in prison there is no favoritisim and if jews want hamentashin, or donuts on purim or chanuka, the goyim want it also, you can't light a fire on lag baomer, only the basic necissities are permitted. He was very emotional and very to the point. He also mentioned how the father has no control over his children because the son says to the father if you repremand me I wont allow you to call me and I wont visit you. Also how a father wasn't even by his son's bris or wedding and his wife had to walk down the aisle herself.
The next speaker was George Meissner, a lawyer who spoke about accepting a subpeona and how to deal if the law catches up with you, how not to get deeper and deeper. He explained that everything is tracable and impossible to escape. There are no more secrets any more. You can't forge signatures and do "genevishi shtick". He spoke how jacking up a sales price for a mortgage to get a good loan is bank fraud and you can sit a lot in jail for it. Also he spoke about how important it is to go to a beis din and it is held in high esteem in court.
Another important Rav, spoke about how there a 5,000 jews in 400 prisons across the US. They are our brothers and we need to recognize them as such. He spoke of Ahavas yisrael and the need to help every Jew.
The last speaker was Benjamin Brafman, a famous criminal lawyer. He spoke about how the action of one frumly dressed jew affects every jew. People get bad impressions. He spoke how the gvernment is nice to us and we can't cheat them even leshem mitzvah. He quoted a rav Moshe Feinstein, how it is ossur for a school to claim more students than there are. He says parents need to educate their children to comply with the law and the yeshivas as well. At the end he said he imagines his grandparents when they were in the gas chambers and dying what they were thinking. Will the Jewish people survive? It seemed so bleak at those moments like nothing will survive. But if you look around you can see we are still here. That is the biggest miracle.

LOVE?

2005-08-09T00:22:00.000-04:00

Am I in love?

B'H the date on Sunday went well. The conversation flowed and I really felt a deep connection to her. She was very Tznius in her dress and speech. She made me fell good and cared about me. I felt comfortable around her. I felt a progression in my ability to trust my neshama and ruchnius in her hands. As usual with me, the point of doubt arises in her body. She happens to be a little too well rounded for what I hoped my future wife would be. A little too much extra goodness in the wrong places. B'H her personality outshines this small disturbance and I am going to try all my might to ignore it. No girl is perfect. (Or boy, of course). When I am in her presence the rest of the world melts into oblivion. But when I am away from her, the Yetzer Hara has me jealous of all the girls I see. I think why can't my wife have fantastic legs and body. Why must she have a little dry skin and not flawless smooth hair and skin? Then I shake my head and push those feelings and say the next girl won't love me like this one does. When I speak to her on the phone she makes me melt. I feel so comfortable speaking to her. I hope this will be the beginning of a happy and joyful journey. It is still early to tell and must go on for a while, but it is a start of something beautiful that I never knew existed.

Camp Shenanigans

2005-08-08T16:19:00.000-04:00

Today in camp we had this really cool magician come and give a magic show. He was frum, so he made some really funny jewish jokes. He explained how his Rav told him he must explain at least one joke so that we would know it was fake. He showed a handkerchief in an egg trick.
Working with kids is fun. I enjoy it immensely. The trouble begins when, for example, one kid is fat and lethargic, and another kid is athletic and small. How are those two ever going to come to an understanding of each other? Some kids need more attention than others. Some are smart and witty while others and outright stupid. Some kids know the right buttons to push, and some are just so cute that you can't punish them. Case in point. One kid wanted to be goaly in soccer. A minute later a kid who hurt his foot said he could only play goaly. Who gets it? The first kid was there first and he wanted the position. The second kid, who I couldn't tell if he was taking advantage of his "hurt" foot to get the position he wanted. I ended up making them split the time. But along came along a third, and then fourth kid who wanted to play the goaly. One kid was a "space cadet" and the other kids hated him because he always let the ball through, and the other kid was just a plain spoiled brat who always got what he wanted. At that point I gave up being policeman and let the kids fight it out.
Another examples where I had a headache was when kids order me around to hold their toys or drinks like I am their personal maid. I am constantly telling kids I am not their mother and to stop asking me to buy them a soda or toy (yes, a kid asked me to buy him a toy from a gift shop and wouldn't stop nagging me for hours). Kids love to take revenge even if the "sin" was done by accident. The tit-for-tat was so annoying it wanted me to start hitting all the kids involved. Kids grab food like there is no tomorrow and never like to share.
The hard part is when I see an overweight kid eating all the food placed in front of him, asks for three, four more portions, and then go scourging the leftover tables for fifths and sixths. I don't know how to help him. He probably is not fed at home by worried parents so he needs food.
Then there are those kids who curse and say the f-word. What can I say to them to make them stop? If I say something they realize it is annoying and then they use it as a bargaining chip. They use it to manipulate the counselor. There are so many things that kids do that you wonder if they will ever grow up to become normal. I assume they must since I don't see so many adults acting like kids. I wonder how a 90 year old looks down at 40 and 50 year olds and think if they are still acting like children.

Update

2005-08-07T09:16:00.000-04:00

Just a quick update to let you know where I have been....

B'H I am working in a day camp as a councelor and therefore I am not around a computer. It is a breath of fresh air (literally) to be away from the computer. Taking care of kids is a great experiance. It reminds me of my childhood days and of the troublsome antics we would play. It is a whole new perspective on the social activities of children. Yikes! I can't believe that I was a "space cadet". When I compare myself to the kids I am watching, I see myself as one of those kids who didn't care about being with the crowd and was in my own little bubble world. It is painful to see some kids with the same traits. I wish I could teach them maturity quickly. I also see some kids who do not get enough attention at home and those who don't get any sweets. It is painful and sad to see kids licking candies off the floor because they need sweets. One kid told me he can't take home his pizza prize because his mother won't let him eat pizza because he will get dirty. Where have parents sunk to be so selfish to scream and make their kids feel so low? There is so much more to write on the subject and I might do so at a later time.
In other new, B'H I have a date with a girl that I met on sawyouatsinai.com . I plan on taking her to central park. From our phone coversations she sounds like a great girl. She knows halacha and talks a lot. Two things I love in a girl.
Tisha B'Av is drawing closer which mean it is time to work on eradicating sinas chinam. May the temple be built quickly in our days. Amen.

;-)

2005-08-03T18:28:00.000-04:00

For Shopaholic ;)

Marriage Tips from Aish.com

2005-08-03T17:32:00.000-04:00

Way # 4 - How to Marry the Wrong Person

Way Number 4:

** They don't share common life purpose and priorities. **

There are three basic areas in which people connect:

Chemistry and compatibility

Common interests

Common life goals

Shared interests and goals provide a couple with a deeper level of connection. Make sure that you access it. There are only two ways to grow after marriage: together or apart. To make sure that you grow together, you have to figure out what you're living for while you're single. Then, you'll be able to find someone who has come to the same goals as you. Here are some possible questions to get you started:

Which hobbies or activities does this person enjoy?
Can I relate to them?
Do they interest me now?
If not, might they interest me later as I get to know this person?

How does this person spend his/her discretionary time?
How do I?

What are the things that add meaning to my life?
Does this person have similar priorities and goals?

Although our society doesn't put any real emphasis on thinking about the purpose of life, the fact remains that the true definition of a "soul mate" is a "goal mate." When two people ultimately share the same life purpose, they will share the same priorities, values and goals - and that is the foundation of a strong and happy marriage.

Wake Up

2005-08-02T00:10:00.000-04:00

Here are two sefarim that are pertinent to our days as was when it was written in early America.

Revilee
Revaluation

Note the excellent usage of the English language to express Torah values.

Cover the Secret

2005-08-01T00:31:00.000-04:00

For those interested, here is a nifty little program I found, that blocks ads, naughty pictures, spyware ect. I find it easy to use and to filter out a lot of the shmutz. (It is becoming painful for my eyes to constantly see nude women. It is too blinding. Especially when they are animated. I want to just grab a fly swatter and swat them to never-never land, anywhere, as long as it is out of my scope of vision. I really enjoy looking at women, I do, when they are based in reality.)
Secretmaker

Front Seat

2005-07-31T09:43:00.000-04:00

For those of you traveling on vaccation: Shotgun Guide